This joke was sent to us by a Jeff S. from Billings, Montana.
An 85-year-old man was told by his Doctor to have a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this — first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.’
The doctor was shocked and said, “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.Share this joke using the buttons below.
The summer’s coming to an end so you know what that means – it’s back to school for the kiddos. As many parents cheer, let us also remember all the teachers and school administrators that are busy prepping for a fun, full year (we give you all the credit). And once those doors open again it only gets more stressful as the students actually arrive. Someone who knows a great deal about this is Principal Gerry Brooks from Lexington, Kentucky. When people ask Gerry “what the most stressful part of the beginning of the school year is” – he’s only got one answer…kindergarten lunch duty.
YouTube
In the video below, Gerry hilariously explains why helping newbie kindergartners in the lunch room is the most taxing task of all (and there certainly are a lot of them in a school). He describes it as, “like trying to get a bunch of kittens to do something.” Being in a new environment the kids are all over the place, so getting them seated is obviously difficult. In the words of Gerry – “it’s just crazy!” But once they do finally sit to eat, that’s when a new set of problems arise…
YouTube
Gerry continues on his comical rant talking about all the kindergartners who bring “fancy” Lunchables, leaving him having to open countless little packages. He then describes all the kids stories that start with, “umm, umm, umm…” and the debates like whether ponies would make good indoor pets. It’s a speech that will have you busting at the seams with laughter and maybe even giving your kids’ educators extra flowers this year. Press play below to watch it for yourself – it’s hysterical!
Most people don’t realize how stressful it is for people with disabilities to do something as straightfoward as ordering a coffee. And even if they do notice, how many people do anything to help?
We were so happy to hear this story about a barista who made the effort to make life a little easier for a fellow human being.
Ibby Piracha, who became deaf when he was two years old, goes to his local Starbucks in Leesburg, Virginia at least three times a week. He usually orders the same thing: a caramel Frappuccino.
Even if all the baristas know him and know what he’s going to order, Ibby writes his order on his phone and shows it to the barista.
But one day, one of the baristas did something that changed everything.
Ibby showed the barista his phone and ordered his usual Frappuccino. But to Ibby’s great surprise, the barista, Krystal Payne, passed him a handwritten note in response.
“I’ve been learning ASL just so you can have the same experience as everyone else,” the note read.
Then, Krystal asked him in sign language what he wanted to drink.
Ibby was blown away that someone had taken the time to learn sign language and make him feel welcome.
“I was just so moved that she actually wanted to learn sign. Sign language is really a totally different language and it was something that she wanted to do because of me? Because I was a deaf customer? I was very, very impressed,” Ibby told WJLA.
According to Starbucks, Krystal Payne spent hours watching YouTube videos learning basic sign language so she could give her regular customer the service she felt he deserves.
Ibby was so taken by Krystal’s kind gesture that he had to let the world know. He posted a photo of Libby’s note on Facebook with the hope that more people in the hearing world will take time to understand the deaf community.
Most people probably think that what Krystal did was above and beyond the call of duty. But for Krystal, it wasn’t such a big deal.
“My job is to make sure people have the experience they expect and that’s what I gave him,” Krystal says.
Thanks to Krystal’s amazing effort, Ibby can go to his favorite coffee shop and order just like everyone else.
Please share this story if you also think that Krystal Payne’s incredible effort should be celebrated!
They say age is just a number – and no one embodies that type of youthful thinking like Gramps! On his 102nd birthday, Gramps doesn’t want to sit at home or eat a boring piece of cake, he wants to get up and moving. That’s why he asked the family to put the boat in the lake and get ready for a lake-side day of fun in the sun. It doesn’t matter that he’s ringing in his 102nd birthday – he’s ready to party. So when Gramps and the crew dropped anchor in the middle of the lake, there was no more waiting around. He wanted to jump right in!
YouTube
At first, Gramps watched from the boat as his younger loved ones swam about in the lake. It looked like so much fun! Even though his body didn’t work the same way as it used to, Gramps wanted to take a dip with everyone. While he was certainly pleased with the idea, everyone else was worried. Could he handle swimming in such cold water at this age? After discussing it among themselves, the younger family members decided to help Gramps into the chilly lake. But he had another idea! He wasn’t going to wade cautiously into the water like a wuss – he wanted to take life by the horns instead!
YouTube
With a little help from his grandchild, Gramps dove into the lake with the grace of a swan! His loved ones watched with smiles stretched across their faces as Gramps swam happily with the group already in the water. He may be 102, but he still wants to get the most out of life. Take a peek at this heartwarming celebration of life in the video below. Gramps’ outlook on birthdays is an inspiration to us all!
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be The Man Of Your House.”
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced,
“From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of fun that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back, towel me dry, and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
The wife replied, “The damn funeral director would be my first guess.”
Please SHARE this wife’s witty response with your friends and family!
When we see people panhandling on the side of the road, it is difficult to imagine what caused them to stand where they are. Are they a product of unfortunate circumstances? Or are they responsible for the position they’re in currently?
While every situation is different, it’s clear that every homeless person could use a helping hand.
Thankfully, that’s exactly what the community in Indianapolis did when they saw a man starving on the street…
Facebook/Team Johnny Rhodes
Johnny Servantez was the first person to share an image of the homeless man, who was later identified as Johnny Rhodes, on Facebook. Servantez explained that the man wasn’t just homeless, but he was literally starving on the side of a busy road while thousands of people passed by without a care.
He wrote:
“I had to give this poor guy some money. I NEVER give panhandlers money… But this guy’s stomach was hitting his back and [his] ribs popping out.If you are at Thompson and Madison [in Indianapolis] throw him a buck or two, at least.The man isn’t that [expletive] skinny by choice. I’ve seen skinny drug addicts. And this man is suffering from starvation.”Facebook/Johnny Servantez
Within minutes, Servantez’s photo was shared all around the state and it reached the last person he ever expected: Johnny Rhodes’ brother, Danny.
Danny hadn’t seen his brother in seven years following the passing of their mother. He had searched for Johnny but he simply vanished without a trace. Danny told reporters that his brother had a history of substance abuse, which made tracking him down frustratingly difficult.
Even with the help of the image, locating Johnny was impossible. That’s when a total stranger named Amy Ranae Smith got involved.
Amy started a Facebook page called “Team Johnny Rhodes” and asked members to send updates with Johnny’s location if they spotted him around town. Sure enough, hundreds of people started sharing images of Johnny’s most recent location – all of which help Danny find his brother.
The two men were finally brought together after weeks of searching and, while Johnny couldn’t be convinced to get professional help, he did get a nice, warm meal and a safe place to rest his head.
Amy shared how the meeting between Johnny and Danny went:
“He had two meals, a [hot] shower, a pair of clean clothes, a room to himself with quiet, a king size bed, TV with cable, fridge, a microwave, Pepsi and leftovers. He is safe and resting.”
Despite Johnny’s reluctance to get help, Danny is determined to keep reaching out to his brother. Family is family and Danny knows he can’t simply give up!
Facebook/Team Johnny Rhodes
Even though Johnny was able to reunite with his loved ones, he still opts to spend a good portion of his time on the street. Thankfully, the community is aware of his situation and sends updates to the page regularly! Hopefully their kindness will help convince Johnny to turn his life around!
When two-year-old Mila Stauffer and her family left their home in Arizona and set out for Michigan, she had no idea that things could get so complicated once they entered the airport! The family of seven rarely gets to do anything without drawing attention to themselves and going through the airport was no different.
Maneuvering five children through the baggage check was one hurdle they were able to overcome. But when it was time for the security checkpoint, little Mila wasn’t having it…
YouTube
The moment the Stauffers returned home, Mila needed to vent about their TSA experience. Looking into Mom’s camera, Mila explained that the long lines, pat-downs of her brother and lack of accessible bathrooms are all something she didn’t prepare for!
She couldn’t believe their experience! She just had to share!
YouTube
Traveling is hard as an adult, but being patient in a winding security line as a toddler is something that was practically unimaginable! Poor little precocious Mila had no patience for any of it!
Mila went on and on with her explanation as to why airport security was the worst and Mom did her best not to giggle. This sassy little one is definitely full of spunk!
YouTube
She didn’t have a problem with speaking her mind! Mom was wise to videotape her testy testimony and share it with the world where she has since gone viral.
At the end of the video, Mila looked into the camera and said that she’s done with TSA and “never again” will she go through that type of experience. We beg to differ, little Mila!
YouTube
Sadly, if Mila ever wants to fly again, she’s probably going to have more encounters with the TSA. We’ll be ready and waiting to hear her future reports!
Thankfully Mom was able to capture every moment of this pint-sized rant and decided to share it with the world. We’ve seen Mila go off on different topics before, but this is the most relatable by far!
YouTube
Take a peek at her hilarious TSA rant for yourself in the video below. She’s just too darn funny!
It’s not like we need to be reminded of how much we all love firefighters. But in case you do need a reminder of all the hard work, sacrifice and heart that goes into their jobs…
More than 3,500 personnel are now fighting the Ferguson fire, which broke out near Yosemite on July 13 and has since grown to include more than 43,000 acres.
Facebook
Turlock Fire OES Strike Team 4803A is among those agencies, and when they arrived at Turlock resident Brenda Ann Marks’s door late last week, she was certain they were there to deliver bad news: The fire was creeping closer, and she’d have to evacuate.
But she was wrong.
“I heard a knock at the front door,” wrote Brenda. “There stood 4 firemen in full gear. I said, ‘Oh no, I have to leave again?’He instantly replied, ‘No, ma’am we’re here to help you. Is there anything we can do?’”Facebook
These kind-hearted men had just stopped by her cabin to do a welfare check and ask if she needed anything. After all, it had to be an intensely frightening experience, not knowing if, or when, she might be forced to evacuate with only what she could carry.
She couldn’t think of anything off the top of her head — but they could!
He then replied so sweetly, “Do you have a lawn mower? Your lawn needs mowing and we want to do it!” So one guy headed out and mowed my back yard!!FacebookThen the other guy said, “Why is your freezer out here on the deck?”“Oh,” I said, “I still have to clean it out it’s empty of rotten food…I’m going to do that today!”He replied, “Well I’m going to clean it out for you… Do you have cleaning supplies bleach, 409, some rags?”I said, “Oh that’s ok I can do it.”FacebookLo and behold, before I knew it two of them pick up my freezer and took it over to the gravel out front. Cleaned it and carried back into my home.I had an ice chest that was leaking water inside the front hallway… Well I’m sure you can guess he took everything out transferring it to a good freezer next to it!FacebookI also had a lot of pieces to the inside of the refrigerator freezer propped up in the hall drying from being cleaned.
Well, that wouldn’t do. Minutes later, the freezer had been reassembled, restocked and even cleaned! All these kind gestures literally brought Brenda to tears. She was so touched that she took the time to jot down their names so she could acknowledge them in a Facebook post.
Facebook
These men went well above their job description to bless a complete stranger. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we were all a little more like Shaun, Cameron, Steve, and Corey?
Share their example of kindness and selflessness today!
Ibby showed the barista his phone and ordered his usual Frappuccino. But to Ibby’s great surprise, the barista, Krystal Payne, passed him a handwritten note in response.
“I’ve been learning ASL just so you can have the same experience as everyone else,” the note read.
Then, Krystal asked him in sign language what he wanted to drink.
Ibby was blown away that someone had taken the time to learn sign language and make him feel welcome.
“I was just so moved that she actually wanted to learn sign. Sign language is really a totally different language and it was something that she wanted to do because of me? Because I was a deaf customer? I was very, very impressed,” Ibby told WJLA.
According to Starbucks, Krystal Payne spent hours watching YouTube videos learning basic sign language so she could give her regular customer the service she felt he deserves.
Ibby was so taken by Krystal’s kind gesture that he had to let the world know. He posted a photo of Libby’s note on Facebook with the hope that more people in the hearing world will take time to understand the deaf community.
Most people probably think that what Krystal did was above and beyond the call of duty. But for Krystal, it wasn’t such a big deal.
“My job is to make sure people have the experience they expect and that’s what I gave him,” Krystal says.
Thanks to Krystal’s amazing effort, Ibby can go to his favorite coffee shop and order just like everyone else.
Please share this story if you also think that Krystal Payne’s incredible effort should be celebrated!
