For years, and for many generations of parents, spanking was the right thing to do in order to have disciplined and well behaved children. Even nowadays, many believe how this type of corporal punishment helps them teach their kids manners and use it even up to several times a month. Many parents settle on this discipline method simply because that’s how they were raised and somehow feel they should follow in their parents’ footsteps.
But, it turns out spanking is wrong on so many levels and does more damage than good, putting the kids at higher risk of inappropriate and violent behavior later in life.
According to the renowned researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and University of Michigan, the belief that spanking results with negative psychological effect on a child has been confirmed. This effect doesn’t fade away even years after it has been administered. The sad reality is that many moms and dads out there believe this to be effective and never think of the consequences it leaves on their kids.
Recently, an in depth study on this issue has been done and the results of the findings were published in the Journal of Family Psychology. The case study included approximately 160,000 children over a 50-year span. The authors of the study, Elizabeth Gershoff and Andrew Grogan Kaylor presented the outcome which said that now, as adults, the group of people that were spanked when they were young were more likely to exhibit anti-social behavior and suffer from health problems.
Actually, they believe that this form of disciplinary tactic has similar consequences as those at children who were victims of abuse.
“We as a society think of spanking and physical abuse as distinct behaviors. Yet our research shows that spanking is linked with the same negative child outcomes as abuse, just to a slightly lesser degree.”
Joan Durrant, a professor in the department of community health sciences at the University of Manitoba who has studied the effects of spanking for 30 years argues that “Children who are spanked are at greater risk of bullying others and using aggression as a way of solving problems and conflicts.” Parents are unaware that even if that helps teach their kids to behave for a short period of time, it will create in them aggression that lasts a lifetime.
According to another study of 2016 published in Zero to Three, in which parents who use this type of punishment were involved, 30% of them said how they feel bad for spanking their kids, and 77% believe it’s not an effective method of discipline.
This raises the question of why do people still do it when everything and everyone reasonable suggests it’s not the right thing to do.
Many parents would argue how they still do it because it helps them deal with their children without considering other types of punishment that are effective in a long term, such as taking away the kid’s privileges, rewarding their good behavior, have long talks, and allow for natural consequences.
Mat Hayward via Dollar Photo Club
Whether you are for or against spanking your children, you may hear parents say, “well, my parents spanked me and I turned out just fine, so why wouldn’t I use this as a method of discipline?”
One of the most vocal spanking advocates around is Christian-based Focus on the Family, an organization which was originally founded by psychologist James Dobson back in the seventies.
In an opinion piece written for Time in 2014, Focus on the Family’s director of counseling Dr. Jared Pingleton, explains that
“spanking [. . .] can be one effective option among several in a parent’s tool chest as they seek to steer their children away from negative behaviors.”
He says it should be done at the right time, however.
“Generally speaking, we advise parents that corporal discipline should only be applied in cases of willful disobedience or defiance of authority—never for mere childish irresponsibility.”
Dr. Diana Baumrind from the University of California, a psychologist who has made a career researching authoritative disciplining methods, says that spanking doesn’t have long-term effects.
According to the New York Times, in a 2001 talk given at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association, Baumrind stated that
“When parents are loving and firm and communicate well with the child, the children are exceptionally competent and well adjusted, whether or not their parents spanked them as preschoolers.”
Now that we caught your attention with this article, you may even want to do further research before you continue spanking your kids when they do something bad, as breaking things, or screaming in public.
Have you ever used this “old-fashioned” method of teaching your children a lesson? Or you believe in the power of “the talk?”
Below are the staggering results of the poll created by Tip Hero asking parents whether they support or oppose spanking.
TipHero
Over half of those who answered said they are for spanking the kids. Are you surprised by the results?
Please share with us your opinion regarding the subject. We would be happy to hear your thoughts.
The global warming is a real thing, it’s here, and it affects our planet a great deal. Our behavior and our inability to deal with the waste we create leads to the drastic changes presented in the photos below. These before and after photographs are taken in different times that range from five to a hundred years. They will certainly take your breath away!
PEDERSEN GLACIER, ALASKA. SUMMER, 1917 — SUMMER, 2005ARAL SEA, CENTRAL ASIA. AUGUST, 2000 — AUGUST, 2014LAKE OROVILLE, CALIFORNIA. JULY, 2010 — AUGUST, 2016CARROLL GLACIER, ALASKA. AUGUST, 1906 — SEPTEMBER, 2003POWELL LAKE, ARIZONA AND UTAH. MARCH, 1999 — MAY, 2014BEAR GLACIER, ALASKA. JULY, 1909 — AUGUST, 2005FORESTS IN RONDONIA, BRAZIL. JUNE, 1975 — AUGUST, 2009MCCARTY GLACIER, ALASKA. JULY, 1909 — AUGUST, 2004THE DASHT RIVER, PAKISTAN, AUGUST, 1999 — JUNE, 2011. THE MIRANI DAM SUPPLIES CLEAN DRINKING WATER AND POWER TO THE SURROUNDING AREA. THE DAM ALSO HELPS SUPPORT LOCAL AGRICULTUREMATTERHORN MOUNTAIN IN THE ALPS, ON THE BORDER BETWEEN SWITZERLAND AND ITALY. AUGUST, 1960 — AUGUST, 2005MABIRA FOREST, UGANDA. NOVEMBER, 2001 — JANUARY, 2006TOBOGGAN GLACIER, ALASKA. JUNE, 1909 — SEPTEMBER, 2000GREAT MAN-MADE RIVER, LIBYA, APRIL 1987 — APRIL 2010. THIS IS THE GREATEST ENGINEERING PROJECT IN THE WORLD: A NETWORK OF PIPES, AQUEDUCTS, AND WELLS MORE THAN 500 METERS DEEP. THE WATER SYSTEM PROVIDES THE DESERT AREA WITH WATERQORI KALIS GLACIER, PERU. JULY, 1978 — JULY, 2011MAR CHIQUITA LAKE, ARGENTINA. JULY, 1998. — SEPTEMBER, 2011MUIR GLACIER, ALASKA. AUGUST, 1941 — AUGUST, 2004
Source: thinkinghumanity
Good neighbors can make great friends that we can rely on whenever our family is not around. In many cases they are the ones who help us overcome certain difficulties and obstacles. They are closest to us, so whenever there is an emergency, they are the first to contact.
In the case of a lovely elderly woman whom the neighbors call “My Lady,” those living next door went a step further and helped her get a second chance for a better life.
Lucy Ashen from Fulham, England, who happens to be My Lady’s neighbor is really fond of everyone living around. She always makes sure to greet the passersby and wish them a great day. But, Lucy could never assume My Lady was hiding a secret from the rest of the neighbors until that day.
Facebook/Lucy Ashen
The 76-year old woman was experiencing mental health issues for years, but no one knew how severe her condition was because what was going on behind closed doors was a mystery.
What Lucy witnessed once she entered her neighbor’s one bedroom apartment saddened her to the core. The conditions were so awful that she couldn’t believe her eyes. Lucy could never imagine anyone living in such a place.
Flickr/J B
It happened that My Lady locked herself out of her flat and couldn’t get in, and that’s when she asked Lucy to get inside through the open window.
The flat was extremely filthy. It smelled really bad and it appeared that My Lady hadn’t have a bath in thirteen years. Her physical and mental state prevented her from keeping her home and herself clean, and that was the most heartbreaking thing ever.
“There was no food, filthy clothes, nobody to help her bathe and just never-ending loneliness and despair. What I saw when she finally let me in will stay with me forever! It was horrific! NOBODY should live like that!”
Facebook/My Lady and Me
Lucy knew she had to intervene and make things right. She was determined to help her neighbor spend the rest of her days away from the dirt and the clutter. Without hesitating a bit, she started cleaning, sorting, and disinfecting.
But, the thing was that most of the appliances weren’t functioning properly, so My Lady was in need of new household supplies, furniture, and even clothes.
In order for her to be able to get back into her flat as soon as possible, Lucy asked help from other people as well. She posted a plea on her Facebook page and she received messages from strangers offering to buy new items.
Facebook/Lucy Ashen
Almost all of the things needed for the place to become a home were gathered in less than 24 hours. Lucy was happy knowing there are so many companies, charities, health professionals, and others who were willing to step in.
“…with the kindness and generosity of the people who donated items, I have been able to turn her house into a home. She has everything she could need, a bed to sleep in (she was sleeping on the floor) good clean furniture, fresh new bedding, beautiful new clothes, three meals a day, and most importantly, company. She truly has been saved from a lonely and degrading life, she has been given her dignity back and I intend for her to live out the rest of her life in comfort and surrounded by love.”
Facebook/My Lady and Me
Thanks to Lucy and the people’s interest in the well-being of My Lady, she could have a normal life. Lucy even created a Facebook page where she was posting about My Lady’s journey and progress.
This whole experience provided My Lady with a completely new life. She understood the value of having someone who can take care of you. Now that she received a completely renovated place to live and the much needed bath, she resembles a happy person that was once hidden under the filth.
She can now spend her days in the company of her neighbors and her TV that she didn’t use in years only because it was set to a foreign language and the poor lady didn’t know how to fix it.
Facebook/My Lady and Me
My Lady has loved chatting with the strangers who have filtered in and out of her flat to help, as well as the conversations she’s had with Lucy while she cleans the home.
“We have laughed, sung and danced around the front room! She had her first car ride in years. The sun was out, the windows were down, the music was blaring and she was singing along! She loved it!”
Facebook/My Lady and Me
It is amazing how little it takes for a life to be saved. What Lucy had to offer was endless support, kindness, and devotion. This should serve as an example for the rest of us that we should never let anyone around us struggle.
Has it ever happened to you to just sit right there in the corner of your living room, looking at all those things covering the sofa and the floors such as bunch of toys the kids didn’t pick up, or all the clothes placed on the chairs instead in the wardrobe, thinking how messy you place is? It does happen to many people, and according to science, being surrounded by clutter can be a major cause of anxiety.
Whereas there are people out there who can function just perfectly in a cluttered environment, most of us find it pretty much upsetting.
Scientists also argue that the state of your place is related to the state of your mind, when your surrounding is clean it reflects your thoughts and you are more calm.
One mother who has brought up this question on a forum where mothers share their daily life experiences couldn’t believe how many other women share the same feeling, saying how clutter makes them nervous, anxious and causes depression.
Psychologist Sherrie Bourg Carter wrote in an article for Psychology Today:
“Clutter can play a significant role in how we feel about our homes, our workplaces, and ourselves. Messy homes and workspaces leave us feeling anxious, helpless, and overwhelmed. Yet, rarely is clutter recognized as a significant source of stress in our lives.”
Source: How Does SheThere are 8 major reasons why Carter believes this:
Clutter overwhelms us because it causes excessive stimuli so our senses go into overdrive
It distracts us from other things we’d like to focus on
It makes it harder to mentally and physically relax
It signals to our minds that our work is never done
It also causes anxiety because we have to think about how we are going to clean everything up
It can impede productivity and creativity
It makes it harder for us to find what we need and takes up space for doing other necessary things on our list
Source: MyLifeSuckers
However, it is interesting to mention that this doesn’t affect men the same way it affects women. The reason for this is that when women are surrounded be clutter the level of the hormone called cortisol increases, triggering stress, which is not the case with men.
Sometimes, not being able to keep your place clean may also cause the feeling of guilt. We consider ourselves incapable to deal with our choirs and it makes us frustrated and decreases our self-esteem.
According to Carter, these things can be eliminated if we follow some useful tips and tricks he suggests.
Source: Spouses Cleaning HousesHere are some of those tips:
Get your family involved in cleaning. If you’re on your own, start in one space at a time before you move on to another so that you don’t get overwhelmed and can feel accomplished as you progress.
Create a specific space for your items so you’re more likely to keep the item in its designated space. It’s best to keep items in closed spaces so you don’t have to look at it.
Throw away things that you don’t use or that you don’t need. If you haven’t opened it or used it in a year, toss it!
Clean up your mess after you make it. It will give you a nice sense of closure and will be clean when you return to it.
Sisters Macey, Mackenzie, and Madeline were given up for adoption right after they were born. Their parents couldn’t take care of them because they were drug abusers struggling with the addiction.
The girls were welcomed by the Garrisons who already had three children of their own, all of which boys, Tyler, 20; Matt, 17; and Luke, 16. Darla and Jeff who had fostered many children so far knew they had to step in and provide the baby girls with the life they deserved.
The family was perfectly aware that Macey and Mackenzie would need additional dedication, love, and support because they were born as conjoined twins.
“We had no idea what to expect – but they only needed someone who loved them. We got Madeline when she was four days old and Macey and Mackenzie came to us after four weeks,” Darla told Closer.
They always dreamed of having daughters so the girls fit in perfectly.
Source: Facebook
“We’d fallen in love with them. Our boys were so happy to have three sisters,” Darla told Closer.
Jeff and Darla’s life goal was to make sure the girls undergo the much needed surgery, so in 2003, they were successfully separated at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.
Two years after, the whole family moved to a farm in Indianola, Iowa. Macey and Mackenzie now use prosthetic in place of the leg they once shared. The girls are getting used to walking and they have a normal life, doing everything other kids do.
Source: Facebook
When they come across certain obstacles doing the everyday choirs they can always ask their sister Madeline to give them a helping hand.
“When they encounter something they can’t do,” Darla told People, “they don’t dwell on it too long.”
They have never ever considered quitting, but are determined to move on and achieve great things in life.
“The girls have succeeded through hard work and the commitment by their family. Their progression is wonderful and inspiring,” says Children’s Hospital Los Angeles Pediatric Surgeon James Stein, who performed the multi-staged separation in 2003.
Source: Facebook
Now, at the age of 16, the girls are full of life and ready to respond to any challenge or obstacle that comes along their way. They know they are loved and cared for by their parents, their brothers, and their sister. We hope they will have a bright future ahead.
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Life is full of surprises, and whether they are pleasant or not, we can’t prevent them from happening and leaving us stunned.
Robert and Nia Tolbert tied the knot back in 2014 after ten years into dating. The couple had a three-year-old son, Shai, and Nia was pregnant with twins on the day of their wedding.
They were both thrilled by the fact of having a large family, because that was something they both dreamed of ever since the moment they met. Soon after, the happy parents welcomed babies Riley and Alexander into the world.
However, two years after the birth of the twins, the Tolberts were caught by surprise with the news they received.
Facebook/Nia Tolbert
Nia was expecting another baby. Although she was excited by the news, she was also a bit scared, because that would mean having to take care of four children, and we all know that’s not an easy thing to do.
When the time for the first ultrasound came, the nurse asked Nia whether there were multiples in the family, and that’s when this mother-to-be figured out she was caring more than one baby.
Nia left the exam room to use the bathroom, and what she heard when she returned was:
“There’s three. Baby A. Baby B. Baby C.”
This was huge, three babies were on the way. Nia could never in her wildest dreams imagine she could be having so many kids. But she couldn’t hide her excitement.
Flickr/Possible
This was a real miracle, because conceiving naturally with triplets is not that common, especially if the mother have given birth to a set of twins before. However, Nia’s multiples were due to a condition called hyper-ovulation, in which more than one egg ovulates at the same time.
Now the only thing she needed to do was to break the news to Robert.
Facebook/Nia Tolbert
He was totally flabbergasted, but as happy and as excited as his wife. He said:
“Oh I passed out. I hit the bed. I blinked twice, when I woke up I saw that some time had elapsed on the clock.”
It was going to be fun with so many kids in the house. Now Nia and Robert couldn’t wait to learn the babies’ gender. With three boys, they were secretly hoping at least one of the babies would be a girl, but it turned out they were going to have three daughters. The couple was over the moon.
Robert noted:
“The house is officially balanced now, because the three boys they flock to their mother. They want to defend her. They don’t give her a second to breathe or do anything on her own. Now I have my own little posse. They will follow me, and protect me, and take care of me.”
Take a look at the video of the gender reveal party.
Ellen DeGeneres really knows how to make our days. She is one of the best hosts whose show is really one-of-a-kind, featuring top notch celebrities and ordinary people with incredible talents or unusual stories.
But it looks as though from all the people she hosted, little Kai is her favorite. She never misses a chance to invite him over to the show. His singing talent is what makes Ellen, and the rest of us, so fond of this boy who’s climbing his way up the ladder of success.
When Kai first appeared on Ellen’s show he treated the audience performing Katy Perry’s “Roar.”
YouTube
The way he sings, the gestures he makes, and that adorable smile on his face make it impossible not to love him. He simply enjoys at what he does best.
This time he sings a song of one of his own favorite musicians, Ed Sheeran. He chose the Grammy Award winning song “Thinking Out Loud.”
YouTube
Kai is so adorable that he even has a handmade gift for Ellen with handwritten messages of how beautiful she is and how much he loves her, which wins him a kiss from our favorite host. They talk for a while and then the moment we are all eagerly waiting is here. Kai starts singing, and we all get to enjoy.
He closes his eyes and bursts out into song. The audience follows along with a loud applause.
YouTube
As the performance is coming to an end, Ed Sheeran himself stands behind the little prodigy who has no idea what is going on because he is already deep into his singing.
YouTube
Ellen can’t wait to see Kai’s reaction once he realizes who is standing next to him, and she goes all smiles. Ed does pretty much the same thing, and is flattered little Kai chooses to sing one of his songs.
Kai finally discovering Ed has been there all the time is precious. This is definitely a must see.
YouTube
Take a look at the surprise Kai got from Ellen and his idol in the video below.
Grandparents are simply awesome. They take care of their grandchildren’s well-being the same way the parents do, but unlike mommies and daddies, they let the kids do whatever they want, they buy them a bunch of presents, and spoil them rotten. That’s why they are the favorite people in the life of the little ones.
Spending time with the grandkids is believed to be very beneficial for the elderly because it reduces the chances of suffering from dementia or the Alzheimer.
Source: YouTube ScreenshotAn unusual sight of what might be the coolest grandpa ever and his lovely granddaughters was posted on YouTube and it stole the hearts of everyone who got to see the amazing dancing skills they possess.
The three are outside in the park, walking and enjoying the day, when they suddenly break out in dance and gather the attention of the passersby who can’t hide their excitement.
The whole thing is very fun and cute at the same time, because the grandpa is an excellent dancer. No matter his age, he shows some frisky dance moves that leave everyone is awe.
The young girls, all dressed up in cute red dresses, follow along and are in perfect sync with grandpa.
Source: YouTube Screenshot
Dancing might be the best way of having fun and be healthy, and this man knows that best. He looks pretty young and is in top shape.
According to the European Journal of Physical and Rehabilitation Medicine:
“Dancing may help people with Parkinson’s disease, which is characterized by rigid muscles, slowed movement, and impaired balance. Dancing may also be good for your mood. It has been shown to reduce depression, anxiety, and stress and boost self-esteem, body image, coping ability, and overall sense of well-being, with the benefits lasting over time. In one study, it even helped control ‘emotional eating’ in obese women who eat as a response to stress.”
Source: YouTube Screenshot
This is perfect for bonding with your grandchildren. It’s really some quality time these three spend together. It took quite some time practicing this breathtaking dance routine, that’s for sure, because they do it flawlessly, without any mistake.
Watching them from aside makes it look as though dancing is a piece of cake, they do it with such an ease.
The grandpa can stay active and make sure his granddaughters are having the time of their life.
Another study published in Arts in Psychotherapy concluded:
“Dancing should be encouraged as part of treatment for people with depression and anxiety. Though other forms of exercise can have many of the same benefits, dancing is more appealing to some people, so they are more likely to stick with it.”
Source: YouTube Screenshot
If Grandpa continues to dance with his girls like this, he will likely have a healthy life ahead of him.
Those who watched the video say this is the best shuffle they’ve seen recently, and one person even asks if the grandpa would like to adopt him. That’s how strong of impression he makes.
Source: YouTube Screenshot
We hope this won’t be the last time we see from this adorable family. They definitely know how to enjoy. The girls must be so lucky to have a grandpa like this, who won’t let them be bored at any time.
We can’t wait for another stunning performance.
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