This jokes starts out funny, but it gets even better at the end, especially because the punchline isn’t that easy to see. It involves a wife, her lover, and her husband who suddenly gets home while she’s in bed with that other man.
Read it below.
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door.
“Stay where you are,” she said.
“He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”
The husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife:
“Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”
“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife.
Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.
If you are into good jokes, this one will definitely make your day.
It is difficult when you find yourself in a new community and you don’t understand the language. It might not even be that they are speaking a different language, it’s just something they are saying that is understood by most.
That was the experience of the new priest in the following joke. They ended up in the right place but they should have studied a little before they jumped right into the middle of it.
Read it below.
There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week.”
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When the time for retirement comes, some people feel like they’ve lost their identity, while other find it as a way to pursue their hobbies and fulfill the dreams they weren’t able to because they were busy working.
The truth is that for most, this milestone is a scary one, but it doesn’t need to be like that.
When you prepare for this event emotionally, just think of the opportunities of being able to spend more time around your loved ones, live a less stressful life, and even make new friends.
A couple from Australia stunned many when they revealed their retirement plan, 51 consecutive cruises. Yes, you’ve heard that right.
According to Marty and Jess Ansen, who retired recently, going on that many cruises would not only be fun and fulfilling, but it is also a cost-effective alternative to traditional retirement homes.
Setting the sail!
This couple have always loved the idea of cruise holidays. However, with the coronavirus pandemic, their plans were put on hold until an opportunity rose in June 2022. This was when Marty and Jess made the decision to make up for the lost time. They embarked on the Coral Princess, a ship known for its indulgent buffets, entertainment options, and even table tennis matches.
That first cruise was the first of the many.
“Eventually, I said to my agent, ‘Look, whatever comes, book it,’ and that’s how it got to be such a long cruise,” Marty explained. The couple ended up booking 51 back-to-back cruises and stayed on board even longer that the captain.
The Ansens became a much loved members of the ship and developed strong bond with every staff member.
Ren van Rooyen, the hotel manager, shared, “We always make a joke that I go away and I come back, and it’s like coming to see my family – my mum and dad again – they’re like my second mum and dad on board.”
What they realized along the way was that cruising was more cost-effective than residing in a retirement home. With all of their needs taken care of on the ship, including all-inclusive meals and daily cleaning of their cabin, they found an affordable alternative which is far more fun than being in a retirement home.
The days on board are entertaining as each of them starts with Marty and Jess playing table tennis and doing fitness.
“We do it together, and we have a lot of fun.”
If they have the chance, these two would like to continue cruising until the rest of their lives. So far, they have been on board for over 450 days and their story is proof that retirement can be an opportunity for living your life to the fullest.
To learn more of the inspiring journey of Marty and Jess go to the video below.
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Although they are royalty, the lives of George, Charlotte, and Louis are as normal as they could be all thanks to William and Kate who teach them how to be hard-working, hang out with friends, and appreciate the fact that whether they love it or not they are privileged.
At the moment, the three siblings attend the prestigious Lambrook school where they learn how to take care of animals, get involved in a number of sports, and attend lessons.
According to royal expert Jennie Bond, “[Prince William and Princess Kate] want George, Charlotte, and Louis to be very aware of the privileged way in which they are growing up. Have a proper sense of empathy, charity, and responsibility,” as per OK! Magazine.
“It’s very much the Diana style of parenting. They want them to know how lucky they are and not take any of it for granted.”
Karwai Tang/WireImage
Currently, all three of the children are on their autumn half-term holidays from school, which began on October 13 and will last until October 31. Kate will take a short break from her public royal engagements too. Instead, she will spend more time with her children.
Prince William is set to attend the Earthshot Prize Award, but Kate won’t be joining him because she wants to help George prepare for his exams.
“The Princess will not be attending. Prince George has exams that week, and the Princess wants to be at home to support him,” a source told The Mirror.
As the kids grow up, Kate and William need to make decisions regarding their future.
Recently, the young prince was spotted alongside his parents looking around Eton College, the college both his dad and uncle attended.
Eton’s tuition is around £46,000 ($59,000) a year. Though Prince George won’t join the school until he turns 13, children have to be registered for the school during the year that they turn 10, according to the school’s website.
UK Press Pool/UK Press via Getty Images
According to The Express‘ royal correspondent, Richard Palmer, if George indeed attends Eton College, that would say a lot about Kate.
“I find it fascinating because the Princess of Wales is spending so much of her life talking about giving children a better start in life, and part of that, she and her advisors have talked about reducing inequality,” he said.
“And there you have her children at a fee-paying independent school, almost certain to go to an expensive fee-paying boarding school later on.”
Former BBC royal expert, Jennie Bond, spoke on the matter and told OK!, “The choice of school for the children will tell us a lot about William and Catherine.
“So far, they’ve been such a hands-on parents and, personally, I think it would be sad to see them send their children away to boarding school. I would applaud a decision to keep them as day pupils at schools nearby their home. But I think both William and Catherine were happy at boarding school. I suppose it’s what they know, and perhaps they will want to pass this experience on to their children.”
Bond added, “I imagine it will be all or nothing – in other words, all three will go away to school, or none of them. I will be cheering loudly if they decide to keep their children close and nurture them through their adolescence as they have nurtured them through the young years.”
Tim Graham Photo Library via Getty Images
Prince William started studying at Eton back in 1995, becoming the first senior royal to attend the school in history.
Three years after William enrolled at Eton, Prince Harry followed in his brother’s footsteps.
Speaking of his school days with Anderson Cooper, Harry revealed that back in the day he was “hurt” by William.
“Even when you were in the same school, in high school, your brother told you, ‘Pretend we don’t know each other?’” Anderson Cooper asked.
“Yeah, and at the time, it hurt,” Harry replied. “I couldn’t make sense of it. I was like, ‘What do you mean? We’re now at the same school’. Like ‘I haven’t seen you for ages, now we don’t get to hang out together.’ He’s like, ‘No, no, no, when we’re at school we don’t know each other’. And I took that personally.”
Harry added, “We had a very similar traumatic experience, and then we – we dealt with it two very different ways.”
In his book Spare, Harry revealed more details about Eton College.
William had told Harry that Eton was his “sanctuary,” which included “no kid brother tagging along, pestering him with questions, pushing up on his social circle.”
“I told him not to worry. I’ll forget I ever knew you,” Harry wrote in Spare.
Karwai Tang/WireImage
Kate seems to be the one who has mixed emotions regarding the choice of school but only because it’s a boarding school. This has to do with her experience of being bullied while attending one.
“But she’s still heartbroken. She was horribly bullied at her first boarding school and can’t bear the thought of George suffering through that.”
Although George would be able to visit his family on the weekends, according to In Touch Weekly, Kate is still worried that she will miss him dearly.
“But it still seems as if her family is being torn apart,” an insider added.
Whatever college George chooses, we hope he will have a lovely time there and he won’t experience anything like his mother had.
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When it comes to pets, most people opt for a dog or a cat, but little do they know of the joy parrots bring, especially those who speak.
Of course, what parrots say is just a repetition of what they listen to, but some of the words stick with them for a long time, and sometimes, they are taught to say bad words.
The following joke involves a woman, her two parrots, and a priest.
Read it below!
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquired.
“They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’” the woman said embarrassingly.
“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, “I can see why you are embarrassed.”
He thought a minute and then said, “You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I’m sure your parrots will stop saying that awful phrase in no time.”
“Thank you,” the lady responded, “This may very well be the solution.”
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.
As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed in unison, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”
There was a stunned silence.
Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, “Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!”
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Over the years, numerous studies have been done on what causes panic attacks, anxiety, and depression. These mental states are often times hard to control, and those suffering from them are provided with medicines.
A new study, however, shows that one specific vitamin, or the deficiency of it, may trigger these conditions.
Vitamin B, which is in fact an umbrella term that includes eight vitamins: thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, pantothenic acid, B6, biotin, folate and B12, is a group of water-soluble vitamins that play a vital role in maintaining good health.
The link between Vitamin B and mental health isn’t anything new. It was during the early 1990s that it was discovered how low levels of Vitamin B can lead to anxiety and depression.
Most recent studies confirm this knowledge. A study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders in 2017 found that individuals with panic disorder had significantly lower levels of vitamin B6, vitamin B9, and vitamin B12 than those without panic disorder. Similar study, conducted in 2018 and published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, shows that people with symptoms of major depressive disorder had significantly lower levels of vitamin B12 compared to those who don’t experience depression at any level.
Vitamin B, which cannot be stored in the body, play roles in many organs and bodily systems.
How the Vitamin B is related to the well-being of a person’s mental states has to do with this vitamin’s involvement in the production of neurotransmitters, chemicals that allow nerve cells to communicate with each other and that play a vital role in regulating mood. Having said that, it is understandable why the Vitamin B deficiency can lead to mood swings, and more severe mental disroders.
At the same time, B vitamins help convert food into energy that the body can use. Its deficiency can lead to lack of energy and fatigues.
Additionally, B vitamins help protect the brain from damage caused by free radicals, which are harmful molecules that can cause oxidative stress, linked to several mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression.
These essential vitamins can get to our body through diet rich with them.
B vitamins are found in abundance in meat, eggs, and dairy products. Sources for B vitamins also include spinach, legumes (pulses or beans), whole grains, asparagus, potatoes, bananas, chili peppers, breakfast cereals.
Liver – is particularly rich source of vitamin B12, which is important for brain function and the production of red blood cells.
Beef – is a good source of several B vitamins, including vitamin B12, thiamine, and riboflavin.
Chicken – contains several B vitamins, including niacin, vitamin B6, and vitamin B12.
Salmon – is a good source of vitamin B12 and vitamin B6, as well as omega-3 fatty acids, which have been linked to improved mental health.
Tuna – contains vitamin B12 and niacin, as well as omega-3 fatty acids.
Eggs – are a good source of several B vitamins, including vitamin B12, riboflavin, and folate.
Spinach – is rich with several B vitamins, including folate, riboflavin, and vitamin B6.
Broccoli – is a great source of many B-vitamins.
Almonds – are a great source of vitamin B2 and vitamin E. They are also high in healthy fats and fiber.
Avocado – is a good source of vitamin B6 and folate.
People who do not consume animal products may need to get vitamin B-12 from supplements or fortified foods such as breakfast cereals and nutritional yeast.
Treating and preventing B vitamin deficiencies can be achieved by increasing dietary intake of high-vitamin foods or taking vitamin supplements.
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Losing a parent is never easy. Those were the people who sacrificed a lot for our happiness and well-being and the truth is that no matter what we do, we can never repay them.
When Dylan Carter lost his mom, he was devastated. Before she passed away, she had a wish she wanted him to fulfill, and that was to sing I Look to You at her funeral.
Dylan made her a promise and did all in his power to make her final wish come true, but he was too fragile to be able to go through the entire song.
Almost a year later, he got the chance to make things right when he appeared on The Voice and sang the song.
This time, besides the emotions he experienced, he finished the song, and he sounded incredible.
His rendition was so moving that all of the four judges turned around for him. Dylan was overwhelmed, but that didn’t stop him from finishing the song in his mom’s honor.
“When I saw y’all turn around, I saw my Mom,” Dylan said. “… this was the best second chance — I just made her so proud.”
You can watch his powerful performance in the video below.
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The act of giving and receiving can have a powerful impact on relationships.
When the young man from the following joke decided to send his loved one a new pair of gloves along with a beautiful note, he didn’t expect the salesperson would make a mashup with the order.
This is hilarious, you are going to love it!
A young man wanted to buy a pair of expensive gloves for his sweetheart’s birthday.
He went to an expensive boutique, bought the finest gloves available, and asked the saleswoman to have them delivered along with a note he had written.
Unfortunately, the clerk mixed up the order while wrapping the merchandise. Instead of the expensive gloves, the clerk accidentally wrapped a pair of panties and sent them to the young man’s sweetheart along with the following note which he had written.
Darling: I have been trying desperately to come up with a special gift for your birthday. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening.
I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but since your sister wears the short ones which are so easy to remove, I wanted to get the same style for you.
You may be concerned that these are a delicate shade, however, the saleslady showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. She said that there are a couple of important care considerations that I should mention to you.
First, when you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away since they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Second, be sure to keep them on while cleaning them so that they won’t shrink.
The saleslady made such an impression on me that I had her try them on for me. She really looked great in them and I can just imagine how great they are going to look on you.
I decided to mail these so that you would have them in time for your birthday. I really hesitated because I wanted so much to be there to watch you put them on for the first time.
There is little doubt in my mind that many other hands will have touched them before I see you again. I can hardly wait to run my own hands over them or do as the French do, and gently kiss them. I hope you really like them and will wear them for me on Friday night.
P.S. – The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.
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