After seventeen years, a father returns to ask for forgiveness

By
Monica Pop
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My world didn’t just end; it hit a brick wall at that hospital corridor.

Even today, everything about that day at the hospital comes flooding back. I had been walking for what felt like hours. My world was crashing down around me, and all I could see was the nurses going back and forth non stop. When the doctor appeared, he didn’t need to say anything. I saw it all in his eyes.

That day, my wife was gone.

It was as if the ground was pulled off from under me. The doctor kept talking, trying to explain the “situation.” The baby had made it, but she was going to have some serious medica issues to face; staff that would follow her until the rest of her life. I remember just standing there and nodding my head. My brain didn’t function. It felt like someone had handed me a 1000 piece puzzle and then just threw half of it, and I was still trying to solve it. The truth, it wasn’t something to be solved.

It felt strange and devastating to think that just a single afternoon could change my life forever. I lost my best friend and was left with a life I was absolutely terrified of.

So, I ran. Not out of the building, but out of life. Every choice I made that day was led by fear, and that one coward’s decision wasted seventeen years of my life.

I tried to justify my choice by trying to convince myself that I was just surviving, that I was being strong. Really, though, grief makes you a good liar. I signed whatever papers were put right in front of me without even bothering to read them. What I didn’t realize in that moment was that I was essentially signing my way out of being a father one day.

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Of course, those around me tried to convince me not to sign anything. They begged me to stay involved in my daughter’s life, but I was closed off. I built a wall of guilt that I called “being independent.” I threw myself into work and distractions, anything to keep my mind away from every milestone she was reaching without me.

I avoided dates on the calendar for years. Whenever my anniversary was approaching, I’d work until I couldn’t do it any more, telling myself that she would be better off without the “broken man” I’ve become after losing my wife.

It was an easy excuse to avoid the fact that I was just a lousy person, a coward. What I didn’t know was that silence doesn’t help you heal. No, it just makes the regret feel even heavier.

Seventeen years flew by like a fever dream. It’s not like I was “fine,” but I was functioning, though barely. I paid my bills, went to work, and live inside this comfortable little bubble where I never really felt alive. I was just a ghost floating through the world. Whenever I saw another dad in the park, I couldn’t help but think of the man I refused to be.

The came the day when it all came crushing down. It was my wedding anniversary, and I didn’t plan on visiting the cemetery, but before long, I caught myself driving there.

Seventeen years of running were finally catching up with me. I was standing there with these cheap flowers, feeling like a complete fraud. When I was looking at her name on that stone, it suddenly came to me. Love made me brave. Fear made me into someone I didn’t even recognize anymore.

I whispered an apology into the air simply because I felt like there was really nothing else I could do. I was sorry for being weak, for being the coward to choose to take the “easy way” out, and for running away when I should have stay and be there for that one person who needed me the most.

For the first time since that day at the hospital, I caught myself crying, and it wasn’t because of my wife, but because of my daughter.

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That man whose reflection I saw on that gravestone scared the hell out of me. I had let nearly twenty years of my life slip away. knew then, though, I had no need to let fear dictate the next seventeen years of my life. Redemption does not happen in grand, Hollywood-style moments. It happens when you choose to stop running and turn around.

I began to ask questions about her. I was aware I had no right to ger life, but I had to try. What I had to discovered about her blew my mind. She was amazing, smart, and had this grit about her that had absolutely nothing to do with her medical condition. She had overcome every single thing I had been so afraid of. And she did all that without me by her side, so why would she let me be part of her life now when she achieved everything without a father. Others had been the village I should have been to her. But I decided to run away and hide.

I was totally aware she didn’t need me now, but I also knew that I needed to make amends. I simply had to learn more about her and her life. What I didn’t know was why it took me so long to realize that.

I was ashamed of myself, but still, there was that tiny bit of hope that I could still be the father I always needed to be.

Our reunion was far from picture perfect. On the contrary, it was awkward and hard.

I had to admit to her that I was a coward, and she definitely didn’t deserve a coward as her father. But at least I was honest with her for the first time in my life.

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The hardest thing I had to realize wasn’t the loss of my wife; it was who I had become after her passing. You see, fear is a hell of a drug, and my excuses were always “survival.” But survival isn’t living when you don’t have your loved ones by your side; survival is waiting to die. I’ve come to realize you don’t have to be perfect to find redemption. You just have to show up and face the consequences.

Those seventeen years also thought me that second chances are fragile. Absence leaves profound scars, but presence, even late, somehow matters and love never expires.

Now, when I sit across her, I don’t just think about all the ways I’ve failed her, but also the woman that she’s become. I see all those holes I left, but also how she managed to fill them in. And while we can’t change the past, we can be open about it. We can discuss the mess I’ve made and how to build something new on top of the old.

Every birthday I’ve missed is one more reason to make each next worth remembering. Every apology is one step further away from the kind of guy I used to be. While the shame still lingers, the hope of the future helps me get through it.

The moment I stopped running was the moment I felt like a human being for the first time. It wasn’t the end of everything, but it altered the course of the path I was on. We are defined by the choices we make, and confronting your own failure is the only way to get over it.

Seventeen years is a whole lot of time to lose, but thankfully, it didn’t kill the possibility to reunite. When I think about it, I realize that fear can put you in a room, but you are still the one holding the key.

Forgiveness? That’s a long shot, but not impossible if you’re willing to get real.

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I’m still not sure if she would ever forgive me totally, and if I’d ever be able to stop beating myself up for the time that’s been lost. What I do know is that I’m not running any more, not ever. I am choosing to face the mess I’ve created and I’m finally doing my best to be the man I should have been the day my daughter was born.

And that’s maybe a start.

It’s never too late to turn around. No matter how much time has been wasted, no matter how much you’ve messed up, it’s always your choice to stop running. The first step back is terrifying, but it’s the only way home.

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

A man adopted the most feared dog from a shelter—and soon shook the whole neighborhood

By
Monica Pop
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The rain was pouring, and it seemed like it would reclaim the earth. That cold, heavy rain soaked through Ivan’s canvas jacket until it felt like he was walking around with a sheet of lead draped over his shoulders. When Ivan finally arrived at the grounds of the municipal shelter and opened the heavy door, the sound hit him even before the stench did. It was a frantic, desperate cacophony of barks from hundreds of dogs who all wanted to be elsewhere than at that cold place.

Some of them probably lived better lives before they ended up at that shelter. But most of them were there for so long, that they probably barely remembered those better days. At least Ivan thought so.

You know, when people go to a shelter, they usually come with a list of expectations. Everyone seems to want that Golden Retriever energy, even if the dog itself is a mutt. They want a wagging tail, that “pick me up” look they’d share stories about to their friends, and a dog that would easily get used to the new life. And yes, almost everyone hopes to get that friend for life that would immediately fit into their life just like a piece of furniture.

Well, it’s true shelters are built on such hopes. People walk down the aisles, point at the quiet dogs and dogs that lick fingers through the mesh. They look for dogs that simply feel “safe.”

But not Ivan. He, unlike many people who visit the shelter in hopes of finding the perfect fur “baby,” didn’t walk towards the noise, but towards the silence at the very end of the hall.

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There is always a row of cages that people skip. It’s the row where the light is a little dimmer. The dogs in that row do not perform. They do not bark for attention because they know that when they bark, it hurts. Or they bark so hard that the cage door rattles on its hinges. These are the dogs with the red folders attached to their wire mesh enclosures. The ones with the warnings printed in bold: Aggressive. High-Shedding. Unpredictable. Not Suitable for Households with Children.

These are the “lost causes,” who in the world of economy of shelter life, are the bad investment.

A woman named Irina looked at Ivan with a tired look in her eyes and said, “Can I help you find a specific breed?”

“I’m looking for the dog no one wants,” Ivan said.

She looked at him and said in a rather professional voice. “Well, we have plenty of seniors that are hard to place.”

But it seemed like she didn’t understand Ivan’s words. So he made his request a bit more clear this time. “You see, I mean the most difficult one you have. The one that’s been here the longest. The one that people are afraid of.”

Irina’s face then turned from tired to genuinely concerned. “Look, heroes are great, but trust me, I’ve seen them before. People think they can save a broken animal with some treats and a YouTube tutorial, but then they bring that animal back two days later with a little nip on their arm and a large dent in their ego.”

She then continued, “These dogs… they aren’t projects, Mr.”

However, as she realized Ivan was really determined to get such a dog, she agreed to take him to see one at the last kennel in the hall.

The dog inside that kennel was a German Shepherd, or at least he had started as one. At that very moment, he looked like a map of hard luck, all sharp ribs and scar tissue. One ear looked as if it’d been chewed on, and his fur had dulled. He didn’t do the usual kennel routine, not a single bark. Just stood there, dead center, like a statue. But his eyes were wide, showing those frantic crescents of white as he followed every move Ivan made.

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“This is Shadow,” Irina said. “He’s been with us three years. He was an owner surrender. Severe incident. We’ve tried three different placements. Last one ended with a hospital visit for the adopter. Since then, he’s been on the euthanasia list twice. Just… we haven’t been able to get it done yet.”

Ivan didn’t reach out with that “good boy” phrase all dogs seem to like. He just sat on his heels, looking at the floor three inches in front of Shadow’s paws.

“I’ll take him,” Ivan said.

“Ivan, listen to me,” Irina said, with her hand on the latch of the kennel. “He may never let you touch him. You may just be housing a roommate who despises you for the next five years of your life. Are you ready for that?”

Ivan stood up from the bench. “Listen, I’ve lived with people who hated me for far longer than five years,” he said. “At least this one is honest about it.”

The drive home was a tensed one. Shadow rode in the back of Ivan’s old Ford. And to Ivan’s surprise, the dog didn’t look at the trees or the streets during the ride. He stared straight at Ivan the entire time, something Ivan could see in the rearview mirror. That wasn’t typical behavior for a dog who had spent years in a shelter.

When they finally arrived at the isolated cottage at the end of the woods, Ivan opened the tailgate of the truck, but Shadow didn’t rushed out. Instead, he dragged himself inside the house and went straight to the most isolated corner of the place. He didn’t growl, just started breathing heavily.

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Ivan didn’t try to coax him nor he gave him a huge steak. Instead, he placed a bowl of good kibble and a bucket of fresh water next to the dog and went on with his evening. He put on a record with some jazz music, sat in his armchair, and then started reading a book. At times, he read aloud.

He wasn’t talking to the dog, he was just trying to fill in the silence, and that was it. And yes, he also wanted Shadow to start getting used to the vibration of his soul.

Week one was a ghost story. Shadow only ate somewhere between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. When Ivan would get out of bed, he’d see the licked bowl, and Shadow was once again either under the wooden table or behind the couch.

One day, while Shadow stood by the wall, the sun caught him, and Ivan could see the marks on his body more clearly. Those weren’t marks from fights, but from cigarette burns. There was also this long jagged line down his hindquarters that looked as though it came from a hot wire.

God knew what that dog had gone through while in the hands of the wrong people.

Ivan got angry, but he didn’t react because he knew dogs can sense emotions. “Yeah,” Ivan muttered, not looking at the dog. “People are the worst thing that ever happened to this world, aren’t they, Shadow?”

Ivan tried to give Shadow some form of predictable reality. Every morning at sharp 7 a.m.he gave Shadow his food. Next, the two walked, and while Shadow was on a leash, it looked as though the two were just strangers who found themselves sharing a sidewalk.

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And then, around a week in, the atmosphere changed. It wasn’t much, even too small for some to notice, but Ivan did. Out of nowhere, Shadow moved towards Ivan.

Ivan didn’t say anything. He didn’t even react because he didn’t want to scare Shadow. He just got on his knees and opened his hand, but pretended not to look at the dog. After a couple of minutes, Shadow put his paw in Ivan’s hand, and then pulled away a second later. But that was it. That was all.

Things did not suddenly get easier after that, but it started to happen. Shadow started coming out during the day, and they began taking small, awkward walks. They were stiff at first, both of them tense, but gradually, the dog started to ease.

However, as it is with humans, not everyone was on board with a dog in the neighborhood. Most of the neighbors would cross the street whenever they saw Ivan and Shadow approaching. Eventually, someone even called the local police apartment just “to check in.” The officers gave Ivan the usual lecture when it comes to dogs, and that was pretty much it.

One day, purely by accident, Ivan learned Shadow’s true story. Deep under the matted fur, tucked away, was a small, scratched-up metal tag. It was old and worn, but the message on it remained clear enough to read. Shadow hadn’t always been a “problem dog.” He had once been a service dog.

Ivan could only imagine what had happened to him after that, but he knew he didn’t need to imagine too much to know that it hadn’t been good.

Eventually, Shadow learned to listen and to follow commands. He acted around Ivan as though he finally started to trust him.

The neighbors also noticed the change. They no longer feared Shadow, and they even walked by his side when they spotted him outside with Ivan.

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The reality, though, was that there had never been that kind of “miracle” or “cinematic” moment, just the boring stuff: the hard work, the repetition, the showing up every day, no matter what.

The boring stuff people don’t want to talk about, the boring stuff that’s hard, the boring stuff that nobody wants to do, but that, in the end, makes all the difference.

What shocked the neighbors, though, wasn’t so much that Ivan took in a “monster” in. It was that the scary dog eventually stopped being scary. Shadow did not transform into something else. He simply went back to being who he had been before everything went wrong.

There are a great many dogs just like Shadow in shelters all over the country – the ones nobody wants because they are “broken.” Well, maybe some of them are. But I think most of the time, when you see a mean dog, what you are really seeing is a terrified one who has been ignored for too long.

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

Jimmy Kimmel makes brutal dig at Melania Trump at the Oscars

By
Monica Pop
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0

Jimmy Kimmel took the stage at this year’s Academy Awards to present the award for the best documentary, and well, to make a brutal dig at First Lady Melania Trump.

It seemed to many that it was exactly what the comedian was waiting for knowing that he never really misses a chance to poke fun at President Donald Trump and those close to him.

Without mentioning any names, Kimmel said before presenting the award, “There are also documentaries where you walk around the White House trying on shoes.”

He then added: “Oh man, is he gonna be mad his wife wasn’t nominated for this.” Of course, it was a reference to Melania’s documentary for which Amazon reportedly paid around $40 million to license it from Melania’s production company.

Host Jimmy Kimmel/ Randy Holmes/Disney via Getty

By all means, the documentary wasn’t the huge hit she and her husband anticipated to be as the interest in the film turned out to be low and ticket sales have been struggling.

Express revealed that “not a single ticket has been sold for the 9.55pm viewing at the busiest movie theatre in the metro-Jacksonville area,” with the cinema’s website showing every seat being available.

At the moment, the film has a paltry 1,5/10 rating on IMDb. It followed Melania as she prepared to return to the White House in 2025 after her husband’s victory in the 2024 US elections.

“With exclusive footage capturing critical meetings, private conversations, and never-before-seen environments, Melania showcases Mrs Trump’s return to one of the world’s most powerful roles,” a synopsis of the film reads.

“I’m very proud of the film so people may like it, may don’t like it, and that’s their choice,” Melania told CNN after the project’s release. “We achieved what we want to achieve. For myself, it’s already successful. I’m very proud of what we did.”

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Overall, the film was met with harsh criticism from reviewers. The Hollywood Reporter dismissed it as “expensive propaganda,” while The Atlantic went as far as calling it “a disgrace.” Meanwhile, The Guardian didn’t hold back either, branding it “gilded trash.” Taken together, the response paints a picture of a project that failed to win over even the most patient critics.

According to the Independent, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung has lashed out at Kimmel for his comment.

Cheung took to X to slam the stand-up comedian, writing: “Jimmy Kimmel (Mr. Blackface) is a classless hack who is self-projecting his depression and sadness onto others.

“He lives a pathetic existence where nobody – not even his family – enjoys his miserable company. The only people giving him any attention are Hollywood Elites. BUH-BYE!”

Clips of the joke quickly went viral among MAGA supporters, sparking a furious backlash. Benny Johnson led the charge, blasting Kimmel as: “Trump Derangement Syndrome patient zero. So pathetic.”

Others piled on fast, with one calling the host a “Trump Deranged crybaby” and “the most broken man on planet Earth!”, while another lashed out, branding him an “insufferable TDS-deranged p****” and slamming “woke Hollywood” for snubbing the What Is a Woman? as yet more proof of liberal bias.

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Kimmel, who famously hosted the 2024 Oscars, read aloud a Truth Social post from Donald Trump attacking him, replying with a quip aimed at the then-presidential candidate: “Isn’t it past your jailtime?”

Earlier this month, he also poked fun at Melania Trump on his show, joking: “Between this and Sinners, it’s been a big year for vampire movies.”

“And while some might say that it is not a great look to be plugging your vanity project while your husband’s bombing another country, Melania has never cared much about optics. She can’t even pronounce optics.

“More than anything, this documentary is dreadfully dull. The whole thing is Melania going to fittings, riding in a car, trying on clothes, and interviewing people to work for her.”

At this year’s Oscars, Kimmel appeared to aim a dig at Trump and CBS as well, stating: “Telling a story that could get you killed for telling it is real courage. As you know, there are some countries whose leaders don’t support free speech. I’m not at liberty to say which. Let’s just leave it at North Korea & CBS.”

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

Colonoscopy: The key question you should ask your doctor before the procedure

By
Monica Pop
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0

Why the Word “Colonoscopy” Triggers So Much Anxiety

For many, just hearing the word “colonoscopy” is enough to trigger fear or anxiety. Due to embarrassment and misconceptions, a significant number of people decide to postpone or forego the examination altogether. Truth is, however, that the procedure is nowhere near as disgusting as — or as bad as — the hype would have you believe.

When a healthcare professional gives a recommendation, it is not made hastily; it is a purposeful action to protect your health and detect possible issues at an early stage.

Most times, what causes fear at people isn’t the test itself but all the “what ifs.” There are these worst case scenarios running through people’s minds because they are unfamiliar with the facts. Posts spread on the social media and exaggerating stories from friends can definitely make colonoscopy sound more frightening than it actually is. In reality, colonoscopy is a routine test performed by professionals safely a million times a day.

Another factor is simply the sensitive nature of this exam itself. While it could be a little awkward to think about, especially if you come from a culture in which digestive issues are a sensitive subject, this is what medical staff does every day with complete professionalism and without any judgment at all. To them, it’s just another day looking after patients’ well-being.

Of course, there is also the psychological aspect to it. Truth is that the idea of any medical test our doctor orders makes us feel a little vulnerable, which can easily trigger stress.

What one should have in mind, however, is that avoiding the test doesn’t remove the risk,it just delays the answers. Facing that brief moment is worth because it can finally give you a peace of mind.

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The One Question You Should Ask Before Saying “I Don’t Want to Do It”

If your doctors recommends colonoscopy, you can ease your mind by asking the simple question of why they are ordering the examination and what they are looking for.

As a patient, you have all the right to know what are your doctor’s doubts that led to the procedure before undergoing one. Understanding the reason helps you make informed decision about your own health.

That conversation with your doctor can be incredibly empowering. Instead of feeling like this procedure is being pushed on you, you become an active participant in your own health. When you understand whether this test is to uncover certain symptoms, to confirm a diagnosis, or if it’s just a routine preventive measure, it’s a heck of a lot less scary.

A colonoscopy, in many instances, isn’t recommended to uncover anything wrong, but rather to prove to you that everything is fine. That’s a big difference. Routine preventive measures are designed to catch problems before they become anything serious, and a colonoscopy is one of the most effective ways of doing exactly that.

It’s also very useful to ask about alternatives, preparations, and what the experience would be before, during, and after the examination. Like with any other procedure out there, the more you know, the less the chances of fear to creep in. When you have an honest conversation with your doctor, it can only be helpful.

What is Colonoscopy?

A colonoscopy is a test that helps identify what’s affecting your bowel, including diagnosis of bowel cancer. The large bowel is also known as the colon or large intestine.

During the procedure, a doctor inserts a thin, flexible tube with a small camera on the end, known as a colonoscope, to examine the inside of the large bowel. In some cases, the test can also view part of the small intestine.

Aside from just looking around, a colonoscopy allows doctors to take small tissue samples, called biopsies, or even remove growths, like polyps, right on the spot. These are not just diagnostic measures; they are, in fact, preventive measures as well. For example, if you remove a polyp, you could be preventing cancer from even occurring in the first place.

The technology used in colonoscopies has advanced significantly in recent years. The current technology allows for the taking of very detailed images, which enables doctors to detect even the slightest abnormalities in the colon. It is because of this technology that the procedure still remains the gold standard in colorectal cancer screening.

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Where Does the Fear Come From?

The fear associated with colonoscopies mainly comes from misinformation, as many picture the procedure as painful or distressing, but this is rarely the case.

During colonoscopy, the patient is usually sedated, so they don’t feel any pain or discomfort. The examination usually takes between 20 and 45 minutes, and the recovery is speedy. For most individuals, the most challenging aspect is not the procedure, but the preparation beforehand. Yes, it might feel uncomfortable, but this examination is crucial for ensuring accurate diagnosis.

Preparation for colonoscopy usually includes a special diet and a special solution to help clean out your bowel. While the procedure itself is often consider an inconvenience, it’s just temporary and gives doctors a clear view of what is happening without anything to be missed.

One more thing that needs to be mentioned is that fear is something that tends to go away if you hear real stories from real people who have actually gone through this process. Most people say that it was much easier than they thought, even asking themselves why they were worrying so much about something that, in reality, was not such a big deal. This is just one more example of how our perceptions can sometimes mislead us.

Why Timing Matters

Getting a colonoscopy at the right time can save your life, especially if you are over 45, have a family history of colorectal cancer, or have been dealing with suspicious digestive symptoms. Nothing about this test is radical. On the contrary, it’s a common-sense prevention that can detect and treat abnormalities before they progress.

As explained by the National Cancer Institute, colorectal cancer often starts as small, harmless polyps that doctors can detect and remove during a colonoscopy before they even become a real threat.

By delaying a colonoscopy, you may be passing up a chance to treat a problem early when it is easiest to treat. Experts at Harvard Health advise that delaying your screening may lead to a more serious diagnosis later on. Since colorectal cancers take a long time to develop in the body, early detection is a significant factor in treating it successfully.

Regular screening is especially important because most gastrointestinal diseases don’t display any symptoms in the early stages. The NHS and Cancer Research UK explain that signs of bowel cancer may not appear until the diseases reaches late stages, which makes screening crucial in both detection and early treatment. Colonoscopy is a proactive procedure, not a reactive one.

It’s all about perspective in the end, though. It’s perfectly natural to be a bit apprehensive, yet the small discomfort of the procedure is far outweighed by the huge benefits you’ll be getting out of the process. As the American Society for Gastrointestinal Endoscopy points out, the procedure is both diagnostic and preventative, allowing doctors to detect cancerous growths early on and eliminate them before they become problematic. This is not just another procedure, after all—this is your health you’re talking about!

Deciding to have a colonoscopy when recommended is not just about following doctor’s orders, it’s about taking charge of your life. Often, the best decisions for our health are the ones that make us feel a little uncertain.

*Medical Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or another qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical condition or concerns you may have. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read in this article.

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

What left-handed people have that right-handers don’t

By
Monica Pop
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0

Here is a fun fact! Around 10% of the world’s population are left-handed. So, since being a “southpaw” isn’t something common, it has long fascinated experts and ordinary people alike.

Lefties often navigate the world with a unique set of cognitive quirks. While they enjoy some pretty cool perks in certain activities, they also need to deal with the daily annoyance of living in a world built for right-handers. From how their brains are wired to their creative streaks and athletic prowess, left-handedness gives us a front-row seat to how the human brain adapts and succeeds.

The human brain is lateralized, which is a fancy way of saying that certain functions are processed more by one side than the other. For a lot of lefties, the right hemisphere, which we associate with such things as intuition, creativity, and spatial ability, seems to be in charge. According to Dr. Charlotte Reznick, a child educational psychologist and former UCLA professor who is a lefty herself, left-handers seem to have a “knack” for creative activities as opposed to logical ones.

Left-handed people may also process slightly differently by getting both sides of their brain get along better. This can, in turn, help them become more creative thinkers. Scientists believe that this is the exact reason why left-handed people show such unique cognitive behavior.

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When it comes to the actual intelligence, research show that the numbers are a lot more balanced than the “tortured genius” stereotypes you see in media. A massive meta-analysis published in the Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews journal, which saw data from 19 different databases in which over 16,000 people were included, found that for the average person there is no significant difference in the overall IQ between left-handed and right-handed people. In other words, the hand you write with is not a shortcut to a higher score on a standard intelligence test.

On the other hand, the research did reveal a few intriguing facts about the extremes of the spectrum. The study noted a slightly greater rate of left-handedness in people with intellectual disabilities, indicating that “atypical handedness” can, in a certain sense, be linked to different developmental routes. The study also went against the common stereotype that left-handed people are more likely to be “gifted.” In fact, hight-achieving groups are in fact slightly less likely to be left-handed than the general public.

This change in the narrative means we shouldn’t see left-handedness as either a “superpower” or a “deficit,” but as a neutral biological variation. While lefties may not have a naturally higher IQ compared to the rest of the population, their advantage lies in the way they use their intelligence, especially in what is termed “spatial rotation” or “divergent thinking,” where the right hemisphere of the brain gets a workout.

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Creativity and artistic ability

One of the most enduring beliefs about left-handed people is that they are more creative than the rest. According to a common psychological theory found on Enviroliteracy, the right hemisphere of the brain, which is used for spatial reasoning and intuition, is said to be more dominant in left-handers, which might give them an advantage in music and art.

Research published in Behavioral and Brain Functions, indicates that left-handed musicians have distinctive structural brain features such as increased gray matter in the auditory cortex which may help with skills such as pitch memory.

However, scientific opinion seems to be shifting to a more nuanced way. A 2025 Cornell University meta-analysis conducted by Owen Morgan and Daniel Casasanto, which reviewed more than 100 years of data and nearly 1,000 studies, found that while leftie do dominate in fields like music and art, they do not actually perform better on standard lab tests that measure “divergent thinking,” which is the ability to come up with more solutions to a single problem. It seems that the “creative lefty” belief only persists because our tendency to notice rare traits like being left-handed and being a genius and assume they somehow just go hand-in-hand.

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The athletic advantage of left-handers

When to comes to left-handers and sports, it has long been considered that they have strategic advantage over the rest of the people. In “duel” sports like fencing, baseball, and table tennis, lefties are represented at far higher rates than their 10% share of the overall population. A2025 study published in Royal Society Open Science, shows that left-handers are significantly overrepresented in elite fencing—particularly in the foil and épée disciplines—where they make up over 25% of top-ranked male athletes.

This is because of the “Negative Frequency-Dependent Advantage” or “surprise effect.” The overwhelming majority of people, or 90%, are right-handed, and most of them spend their entire lives playing against right-handed opponents. The “southpaw” effect causes their muscle memory to be slightly off because of the angles and spins involved.

However, a newly published research from February 2026 published in the journal Scientific Reports indicates that there is also a psychological element to this phenomenon. Namely, the study shows that left-handers actually have a higher “hyper-competitive orientation” than right-handers. What this means is that lefties are less likely to shy away from a competition due to nervousness or anxiety and are driven by a desire to win. So not only they are harder to predict, but they also have a sharper appetite when it comes to one-on-one combat.

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Everyday obstacles and adaptation

When you think about it, being a leftie in a world designed for righties isn’t that easy. Everything, from scissors to computer mice is designed with the other 90% in mind.

However, it is these minor frustrations that are great for building character and brainpower. Lefties often end up more ambidextrous and better at problem-solving simply because they have to figure out how to use tools that aren’t meant for them.

According to research, left-handed students tend to be more skilled in mental rotation and in solving puzzles in weird ways. The struggle is real for even the smallest things such as spiral notebooks, kitchen gadgets, and three-ring binders. Lefties learn to adjust their grip and find “workarounds” constantly, which probably improves their spatial reasoning and cognitive flexibility over time.

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Health considerations

While the research on health and handedness is mix, certain data do suggest that there is a bit of increased risk of conditions such as dyslexia and ADHD in left-handed people. The thing to remember, though, is that correlation does not mean causation, and most left-handed people lead completely healthy lives without ever having to deal with any of these issues.

There has been some research done on whether or not being left-handed affects how long you live or whether or not you have a stronger immune system, but the evidence is pretty inconclusive, and experts say that being left-handed is not a “health predictor,” lifestyle, genetics, and environmental factors all play much more significant roles.

What makes left-handedness interesting

Being a lefty is a package deal: you get a whole list of awesome advantages and frustrating disadvantages. Left-handed people excel in sports and creative activities, but they also have to continually work at adapting their world.

Plus, learning about left-handedness can also help us understand the brain in general. By learning how left-handed people process information, we can also learn more about the brain’s plasticity and how we can be so flexible in our thinking.

There is also an interesting history involved here. For example, for a very long time, lefties were forced to write with their right hands, and this possibly affected how whole generations learned to deal with and overcome problems. If we look at all this, it helps us see how both biology and environment contribute to who we are.

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Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, being left-handed is not just about which hand you use to hold a pen with, but it is a celebration of the diversity of the human brain.

Whether it’s sports heroes or musical masterminds, left-handers bring something unique to the table. They may have trouble with scissors once in a while, but their flexibility and uniqueness are incredibly valuable.

As we continue to explore, we will likely learn more ways in which handedness affects our lives. By embracing these differences, we can make the world a more ergonomic and accommodating place for all people, regardless of whether they’re left-handed or right-handed.

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Inside the troubled past of a Hollywood legend

By
Monica Pop
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When we think of Hollywood, we think of luxury and glam, forgetting that not every celebrity was handed fame and fortune on a silver plate. Truth is that a number of celebrities had a rough start in life and struggled to get to where they are today.

Actress Ashley Judd is one of them. This Hollywood icon had a tough childhood, especially after her parents got divorced. Food wasn’t always on the table, and if they didn’t grow it or make it, they simply didn’t have it.

Her mother worked tirelessly to bring Ashley and her sister up in rural Kentucky where they often lacked electricity and indoor plumbing.

Eventually, Ashely’s mother, who worked as a nurse at the time, had her breakthrough in the music industry. And I’m sure you know who we are talking about, famous Naomi Judd. But at the time, that didn’t change much for Ashley who wrote in her 2011 memoir All That Is Bitter & Sweet that she was forced to change 13 different schools before reaching 19.

With her mother on tours, Ashley was shuffled between two sets of elderly grandparents and her substance-abusing father.

“I loved my mother, but at the same time, I dreaded the mayhem and uncertainty that followed her everywhere. I often felt like an outsider observing my mom’s life as she followed her own dreams,” she wrote.

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In her memoir, she also revealed that she was sexually abused as a child by an unnamed member of the family.

“I was molested for the first time I remember at the age of seven,” she said when talking about her past while speaking at the World Congress Against Sexual Exploitation of Women and Girls in New Delhi.

“I experienced two rapes at the age of 14,” she added.

One of those rapes resulted in her becoming pregnant.

“As everyone knows, and I’m very open about it, I’m a three-time rape survivor. One of the times that I was raped there was conception and I’m very thankful I was able to access safe and legal abortion. Because the rapist, who is a Kentuckian, as am I, and I reside in Tennessee, has paternity rights in Kentucky and Tennessee, I would’ve had to co-parent with my rapist,” she said.

The actress has also described growing up in a “dysfunctional family system that didn’t work very well.” She remembered that her famous musician mother and stepfather, Larry Strickland, were “wildly sexually inappropriate in front of [both herself and her older half-sister].”

She added that, for instance, the sisters were made “to listen to a lot of loud sex in a house with thin walls,” which she now recognizes as “covert sexual abuse.”

Ashley Judd attends the “Lazareth” Special Screening at Crosby Street Hotel on May 09, 2024 in New York City. (Photo by Arturo Holmes/Getty Images)

Despite a very difficult childhood, the Ashley rose to fame and built a successful career. She went to college in Kentucky before moving to Hollywood with no connections, no training, and just $250.

She studied acting, worked as a hostess at The Ivy, and lived in a Malibu rental. In 1993, she landed the lead in Ruby in Paradise, a low-budget indie about a young woman escaping an abusive relationship. Her intense, authentic performance earned her the Independent Spirit Award for Best Actress.

In the late ’90s, Ashley Judd became known for strong, intelligent roles in films like Kiss the Girls and Double Jeopardy. Behind the success, she battled old trauma and sought help in 2005.

“I needed help,” she told Glamour. “I was in so much pain.”

“I was unhappy, and now I’m happy,” she shared “Now, even when I’m having a rough day, it’s better than my best day before treatment.”

After that, she focused on healing and visited war zones in Rwanda, Congo, and Kenya to be with victims of sexual assault.

In 2001, she married Scottish race car driver Dario Franchitti. The two didn’t have children, and Ashley spoke openly of the decision not to become a mother, saying, “It’s unconscionable to breed with the number of children who are starving to death in impoverished countries.”

The couple called their marriage quits in 2013.

Ashley Judd attends The New York Times DealBook Summit 2025 at Jazz at Lincoln Center on December 03, 2025 in New York City. (Photo by David Dee Delgado/Getty Images for The New York Times)

In 2017, Ashley Judd became the face of the #MeToo movement after accusing Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment, including his infamous “Will you watch me take a shower?” request.

While she was blacklisted for speaking out, she decided not to stay silent.

Her battles with harassment began early; during her first audition, “[It] yielded a screen test and I was asked to take my shirt off,” and later recalled being “sexually harassed by one of our industry’s most famous, admired-slash-reviled bosses” on Kiss the Girls (1997).

Competing for a role, Judd refused to be pressured into exposing herself. She told the audience, “I said, that isn’t about our acting, that’s about evaluating a pair of breasts. And the answer was not ‘no’ but ‘hell no.’”

She still acts occasionally, her most recent role was in 2024, but has mostly shifted to activism.

On April 30, 2022, Ashley’s mother, singer Naomi Judd was found “unresponsive in her home by family.” Shortly after her passing, it was revealed that the 76-year-old died of suicide and that she left a note before taking her own life.

The official autopsy report stated, “[Naomi Judd] had an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound and was transported to Williamson Medical Center where she was pronounced dead shortly after arrival.” Further, it was revealed that Naomi’s family spoke of her intentions to claim her life in the past as she suffered from anxiety, as well as depression, bipolar disorder, chronic idiopathic pneumonitis, hepatitis C, hypertension and hypothyroidism, as per the NY Post.

Naomi’s lifeless body was discovered by Ashley herself.

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Shortly after her mother’s tragic passing, Ashley appeared on Good Morning America and spoke of the pain the loss caused.

On the first Mother’s Day without her loving mother, Ashley said that she felt raged because her mom “was stolen from me by the disease of mental illness, by the wounds she carried from a lifetime of injustices that started when she was a girl.

“My mama was a legend. She was an artist and a storyteller, but she had to fight like hell to overcome the hand she was dealt, to earn her place in history. She shouldn’t have had to fight that hard to share her gifts with the world,” Ashley added.

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Naomi gave birth to her daughter Wynonna a week before she was supposed to graduate from high school. Being a mother at 18 wasn’t easy, let alone a single mom. Her boyfriend left Naomi because he wasn’t ready to be a father so she was forced to raise her daughter all by herself. Some time after welcoming Wynonna into her life, Naomi met Michael Ciminiella whom she married in 1964. Four years after tying the knot, Naomi gave birth to her second daughter, Ashley Judd. Unfortunately, Naomi’s union with Ciminiella didn’t last long and she was once again left to take care of her children alone.

One day while on the job, Naomi met someone who helped change her life forever.

A patient at the hospital happened to be a man whose father was a record producer who arranged for Naomi and Wynonna to get to a live audition at the music label RCA in Nashville in 1983 and that was the start of something huge.

One thing led to another, and the mother-daughter duo became a sensation. They signed their first record and released their first album Wynonna & Naomi, as The Judds. The world became fascinated with the mother-daughter duo. They released number one hits and sold records for more than $20 million.

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On January 2023, The New York Post shared an image that was allegedly obtained by the Williamson County Sheriff’s Office and was a sticky note Naomi left before taking her own life.

The note read, “Do not let Wy come to my funeral. She’s mentally ill,” with the word “not” underlined. Wy, likely referred to Wynonna.

In an attempt to defend her mother and her sister, Ashley spoke of the note which she didn’t want published in the first place.

“Our family is deeply distressed by the galling, irresponsible publication of and ongoing requests for details and images of our beloved mother and wife’s death by suicide because of the trauma and damage it does to those who view such materials and the contagion risk they pose to those who are vulnerable to self-harm,” the actress wrote.

She then called out the publication that shared her mother’s note, and said, “this so-called ‘journalism’ is merely the crudest monetization of a family’s suffering and despair, and a flagrant, cynical disregard for public welfare.

“It is equally a deep violation of our right to a modicum of decency and privacy in death. We remonstrate media to take as fact the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s guidelines on coverage of suicide both for public safety and to avoid re-traumatization of survivors of such a devastating tragedy.” 

Speaking of the note itself, and what was written on it, Ashley stated that those words “came from the complex disease of mental illness and not from her mother’s heart. We hope the public and elected officials now see, with us, the keen importance of strengthening and changing state privacy laws so that police reports in the event of death by suicide are not, in fact, public record. The consequence of the law as it is presently serves only the craven gossip economy and has no public value or good.”

Ashley then shared the details of a bill that has been adopted by Tennessee Senate Majority Leader Jack Johnson that is referred to as Tennessee Senate Bill 9. The goal of the Bill is to “limit access to death records, investigative reports, and 911 calls if no crime was involved in the death of an individual.”

“If passed, this bill will give Tennessee families the privacy they deserve without having to fight for it. Senate Bill 9 gives families the privacy that is critical for them to grieve appropriately, and it can be obtained without compromising the importance of government transparency,” Ashley wrote.

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The incredible story of Sloan McGillis: She was born with a giant facial tumor – but overcame all obstacles

By
Monica Pop
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0

The sheer happiness of welcoming a baby into your world and your family can’t be compared to anything. Seeing the bundle of joy you were longing to meet for nine long months is the most exciting thing there is, and this is something every parent will agree with.

When baby Sloan was born in 2015, her parents, Joe and Jennifer McGillis, were over the moon. However, what they didn’t expect was their daughter to have a large tumor on her face because no ultrasound during the pregnancy showed any deformations.

The tumor took a large portion of Sloan’s face and it required thirteen surgeries over the first years of her life for it to be completely removed. Today, Sloan resembles a perfectly normal child. This is her incredible story.

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Following her birth on February 25, 2015, baby Sloan’s mom and dad noticed a growth on her face, and on day three, she was hospitalized at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit as it was determined that the growth was a tumor.

“They handed her to me,” Jennifer told Inside Edition, recalling the first moment she saw Sloan with the tumor. “I went into shock at that point.”

“I had about a minute of panic terror,” Joe added.

The great thing was that the doctor in charge for Sloan’s treatment, Dr. Hardy, gave the family some hope and never left their side.

“He walked into Sloan’s hospital room when she was just born, looked at her & said, “That is a hemangioma & she will be just fine. Your daughter is going to be ok.” And for the 1st time in 48 hours, I think I was able to breathe again,” Jennifer wrote on Facebook.

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It was determined that the growth was hemangioma, a type of growth that appear as red or purple lumps on the skin made of rapidly dividing cells of blood vessel walls.

Being non-cancerous, these tumors can be operated on and removed safely, but as with any surgery, these can be followed by complications, too.

“When she was born, it was hard as a rock,” Jennifer told the Billings Gazette. “It was like having a grapefruit under your skin.”

In Sloan’s face, the growth appeared on a large part of her face preventing her from fully closing her mouth. “She just doesn’t seem to know it’s there, she’s grown up with it,” Jennifer explained. “We’ve done nothing to treat it as a visibility.”

Facebook/Sloansstory

The doctors said they should wait and see if the tumor would shrank by itself over time, which caused even greater concern at her parents who know how cruel people could be. They were afraid of the stares and how it would affect their daughter’s self-confidence.

“The world is cruel sometimes,” Joe said.

“Sometimes adults are worse about it than other children,” Jennifer added. “Many parents of children with hemangioma are accused of child abuse.”

Sloan underwent her first surgery at in January, 2016. The doctor who performed the surgery was Dr. Milton Waner at the Vascular Birthmark Institute of New York.

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On the day sweet Sloan went under the knife, her mom posted a touching message on the social media.

“They had a plan, but we knew we couldn’t expect the entire tumor to be gone & you can never mentally prepare yourself to see your baby cut all over their face with 100’s of sutures & tubes coming out of them. I look back on this 1st experience & my stomach goes in knots just thinking about the moment I held her in the operating room with the mask over her face & watched her eyes roll back in her head,” Jennifer wrote.

“In that moment, as I think most parents would have a wave of fear come over them, I prayed that was not the last time I held her. Surgery itself is scary enough but to have to make the decision to have it done on your infant is gut wrenching. Were we doing the right thing? Was it to much for her little body? Will the pain be too much for her & she can’t tell us? “

Luckily, doctors were able to remove 90 percent of the tumor.

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However, despite the success of the initial surgery, Sloan was about to undergo more, and the family didn’t have the money for it because  the hospital, Lenox Hill, in New York, wouldn’t accept Sloan’s Montana Medicaid insurance.

But as they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and in this family’s case, it took some kind-hearted people to help their daughter get the life she deserved. A bank in Missoula set up a medical fund in Sloan’s name, and an online fundraising effort brought in more than $30,000. The Hannah Storm Foundation had raised enough money to cover all Sloan’s surgeries and hospital stays in New York. Overall, the family was bale to raise $100,000.

“Everything we were worried about just fell away,” Jennifer told Missoulian. “We didn’t have to worry about how to pay for all of this.”

Joe added: “They aren’t donating to us, they are donating to her, and it was tough to wrap our heads around that for a while. Sloan’s changed us, she’s made us stronger and made us better people.”

Facebook/Sloansstory

Sloan’s story has been documented on the Sloan’s Story Facebook Page.

Today, she resembles a perfectly normal child and no one would have guessed that she was born with a huge tumor on her face.

“I was born with a port wine birthmark stain on my face. Without makeup, even to this day [it] looks like a black eye,” now eight-year-old Storm told Inside Edition.

The family is thankful to everyone involved in Sloan’s recovery, as well as to everyone who has supported them throughout the years. However, their special thanks goes to Dr. Hardy, who was crucial to Sloan’s new life.

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“It’s difficult for me as a mom to put into words the gratitude I have for him. He will never truly know what he has done for Sloan, myself & my family,” Jeniffer McGillis wrote of Dr. Hardy. “Thank you for doing things for my daughter that we, as her parents could not. Thank you for our monthly visits that I’m certain I looked forward to much more than Sloan; I truly think of you as a friend now.”

We are so happy everything turned out for the best for Sloan and her family.

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The reason Sean Penn didn’t attend the Academy Awards as he wins third Oscar

By
Monica Pop
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0

Sean Penn won his third Oscar, but he didn’t attend the 98th Academy Awards ceremony, and many were left wondering what the reason for his absence could be. Well, at least those unaware of the actor’s feelings towards the ceremony.

Penn was nominated for Best Supporting Actor for the role of Colonel Steven J. Lockjaw in Paul Thomas Anderson’s film One Battle After Another and won but he wasn’t there to accept the award. Instead, it was last year’s Best Supporting Actor winner Kieran Culkin who was presenting this year’s category who accepted the Oscar on Penn’s behalf. “Sean Penn couldn’t be here this evening, or didn’t want to,” he joked.

Except for failing to attend the Dolby Theater ceremony, Penn also missed the BAFTAs and the Actor Awards over the past month to pick up his wins.

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While Penn didn’t release any official statement regarding his absence, sources close to the actor told The New York Times that he had planned to visit Ukraine as of last week. Whether he did travel to Ukraine or not hasn’t been confirmed.

Ghosting the Oscars isn’t anything new for Penn, 65. He also missed the ceremony in 1996 for his nomination for Dead Man Walking, in 2000 for Sweet and Lowdown, and in 2002 for I Am Sam, according to The Associated Press.

Expressing his feelings for the ceremony, Penn said at one point, “The Academy have exercised really extraordinary cowardice… limiting the imagination and different cultural expressions,” according to VT.

In another interview, he said: “I don’t get very excited about what we’ll call the Academy Awards.”

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He has also raised doubts about how much the awards should matter when judging artistic work, saying,  “Ceremonies like the Oscars should best be seen as television shows first and less as barometers of artistic merit.”

In 2023, Penn told Variety that he would even consider melting down his Oscar trophies to support relief efforts in Ukraine.

“I’ll give them to Ukraine. They can be melted down to bullets they can shoot at the Russians,” he said of giving one of his Oscar statuettes to Zelenskyy at the time. 

Penn had already been in Ukraine while co-directing the 2023 documentary Superpower, where he traveled to the country to explore the career journey of Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

This years’s Academy Award is his first Oscar in the best supporting actor category. He had previously won best actor for his performances in Mystic River and Milk. He attended both of those Oscar ceremonies.

PATRICK T. FALLON / AFP via Getty Images

Penn has now joined an elite group of three-time acting Oscar winners that includes Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson, Daniel Day-Lewis, Ingrid Bergman, Frances McDormand and Walter Brennan.

Katharine Hepburn still holds the record for the most acting Oscars, with four wins during her career for Morning Glory, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, The Lion in Winter and On Golden Pond.

At this year’s Academy Awards, One Battle After Another claimed best picture and best director as part of a six-award sweep. The movie also won for best editing, best adapted screenplay and the first Oscar ever presented for best casting.

Leonardo DiCaprio was nominated for Best Actor for the same film, starring alongside Sean Penn but lost to Michael B. Jordan who won Best Actor for Sinners.

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