Parents tend to teach their kids to be independent and autonomous. They teach them to decide what’s good and what’s bad, and what suits the best for them. Parents start doing that really early and the process of preparing the kids to face the reality of life is a long one. Lottie Daley, a friend of Russell Brand, gives a different perspective of this independence.
Lottie was a guest in ‘This Morning’ and the interview is about this – independence of the kids and their autonomous choices. Lottie talks about the our own choices, or more specifically the autonomy of our bodies. This process of learning about the autonomy starts from the birth of the child.
Lottie explains herself in details. According to her, we should always make sure we get the ‘approval’ of the child, whenever we want to do something to them. As one of the illustrations she provides is changing diapers. We should allow the kids to be aware of what’s going to happen to them.
Getting straightforward answers like ‘yes’ of ‘no’ at the early stages may not be possible, but that’s not a problem for letting the kid know what’s really going on. Lottie adds that children might be OK when they know what’s happening to them. Giving permission requires discussion and children should be trained to decide what’s good and what’s bad for them.
Additionally, Lottie exemplifies these statements with concrete personal situation. She talks about her daughters and simple acts like tickling. Lottie explains that her daughters are aware of this ‘giving a permission’ and they are completely fine if Mum tickles them. However, they are totally not fine with being tickled by someone else. Upon asking them if it is OK to be tickled by some else, they say ‘no’. The permission is granted to the mother only. They add that they are comfortable exclusively with their own mother.
Nevertheless, Lottie was not the only guest in ‘This Morning’. Vanessa Feltz does not share Lottie’s opinion. She argues that simple acts like tickling for example is showing love to someone, not a physical threat that requires permission.
She also adds that tickling is a very innocent act, an interaction with a child that means care and playfulness. It means that you like the child and he/ she is dear to you. Vanessa understands the autonomy of the child in totally different way than Lottie. Some minor interactions with the kids is not an invasion to the personal space.
Anyhow, Interesting opinions. What’s your opinion on this? Would you agree with Vanessa’s opinion or Lottie’s claims?