Children are the most innocent creatures there are. They always speak their mind and are honest to the core, which can easily put them into trouble. But that’s simply in their nature, and getting mad at them isn’t what grown ups should ever do.

A primary school teacher was witnessed an unforgettable “show-and-tell” presentation on childbirth by one of her students. The little one’s words were so interesting, that her story was shared on the social media and it’s circulating there for years, making many laugh.

Grammar School Teacher recounts: “I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

“Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

“Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for 9 months through an umbrella cord.’ She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had a video camera rolling. The kids are watching her in amazement.

“‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, “Oh, oh, oh!”‘ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, “Oh, oh, oh!”‘ Now this kid is doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning. ‘My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my mother to lay down in bed like this.’ Erica lies down with her back against the wall. ‘And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’

“The kid has her legs spread and with her little hands is miming water flowing away. It was too much!

“‘Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past 10. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there.’

“Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder – just in case another Erica comes along.”

If you like this story, here’s a bonus story with a beautiful message.

“When God created Woman, he was working late on the sixth day.

An Angel came by and asked, ‘Why spend so much time on her?’

The Lord answered, ‘Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?’”

“‘She must function on all kinds of situations.

She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart.

She must do all this with only two hands.

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.’”

“The Angel was impressed. ‘Just two hands? Impossible! And this is the standard model?’

The Angel came closer and touched the woman. ‘But you have made her so soft, Lord.’

‘She is soft,’ said the Lord, ‘but I have made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.’”

“‘Can she think?’ the Angel asked.

The Lord answered, ‘Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.’

The Angel touched her cheeks. ‘Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.’

‘She is not leaking. It is a tear,’ the Lord corrected the Angel.

‘What’s it for?’ asked the Angel.

The Lord said, ‘Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.’”

“This made a big impression on the Angel. ‘Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvelous.’

The Lord said, ‘Indeed she is. She has strength that amazes a man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions.

‘She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. She fights for what she believes in.

‘Her love is unconditional. Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life.’”

“The Angel asked, ‘So she is a perfect being?’

The Lord replied, ‘No. She has just one drawback.’

‘She often forgets what she is worth.’”

—Author unknown

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

Every now and then, we all need to cheer up a bit and forget about our everyday problems.

The following joke will likely make your day, so make sure you don’t miss it.

A gentleman and a lady were dining at a Fancy Restaurant

While attending to a different table, the waitress observed the man gradually sinking down his seat and disappearing beneath the table, while the woman displayed an indifferent demeanor.

Observing the scene, the waitress witnessed the man smoothly gliding down his chair until he vanished beneath the table.

While the woman opposite him maintained a composed and unaffected demeanor, seemingly oblivious to her companion’s disappearance.

Upon completing the order, the waitress approached the table and addressed the woman, saying, “Excuse me, madam, but I believe your husband just slipped beneath the table.”

In response, the woman gazed up at the waitress with composure and replied confidently, “No, he didn’t. He simply entered through the door.”

If you found this funny, check another joke below.

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00! A family member placed a call to Citibank: 

* Family Member: “I am calling to tell you that she died in January.”
* Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”
* Family Member: “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”
* Bank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”
* Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”
* Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!”
* Family Member: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”
* Bank: “Excuse me?”
* Family Member: “Did you just get what I was telling you – the part about her being dead?”
* Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor gets on the phone:

* Family Member: “I’m calling to tell you, she died in January.”
* Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”
* Family Member: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”
* Bank: (Stammer) “Are you her lawyer?”
* Family Member: “No, I’m her great nephew.” (Lawyer info given)
* Bank: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”
* Family Member: “Sure.” (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

· Bank: “Our system just isn’t set-up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”
· Family Member: “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.”
· Bank: “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”
· Family Member: “Would you like her new billing address?”
· Bank: “That might help.”
· Family Member: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”
· Bank: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”
· Family Member: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?

For the sake of it people, please cancel your credit card before you die. Man this is very funny.

Please SHARE these jokes with your family and friends on Facebook.

Bored Daddy

Love and Peace