Albert Einstein has been quoted to have said, “Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” Whether it is true that this saying is of this renowned German physicist or not, we can all relate to the truth it holds.

The following situations are just the perfect proof of that. We hope you’ll have a good laugh.

1: My husband and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’

I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.’

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said ‘We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.’

The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the people at MacD’s.

2: We had to have the garage door repaired.

The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, ‘You need a 1/4 horsepower.’

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, ‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’

We haven’t used that repairman since…

3: I live in a semi-rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

4: IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.

My daughter went to a Mexican fast-food place and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce

5: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’

To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’

He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

6: The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an ‘intellectually challenged’ co-worker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

She is a government employee…..

7: When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’

His reply was, ‘I know. I already did that side.’

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

Although superstitions are often connected to pagan beliefs and religious practices that existed many years ago, there are still plenty of people out there who are superstitious even nowadays, just like the dad from the following joke.

You can read it below.

A father put his 3-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.”

The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’

The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.” The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day the grandmother died.

“Holy crap” thought the father, “this kid is in contact with the other side.”

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.”

He was so troubled that he barely went through the day. He was constantly looking at his watch, anticipating for the worst to happen. As he felt safe at work, he didn’t go home once his working hours were over but decided to stay at the office until midnight. He had a couple of cups of coffee as he didn’t want to fall asleep either.

When midnight finally arrived, he felt a sense of relief and headed home.

When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?” He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I just had the worst day of my life.” She said, “You think you had a bad day? You’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch!”

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

There is something about old people that make us think about life and the things we are to achieve until we reach that ‘old’ age. For one, elderly people are wise and full of knowledge, and secondly, they are often hilarious, so it’s not surprising there are plenty of jokes about them.

This one is about to make your day.

An elderly couple entered a restaurant and ordered a single meal which consisted of a hamburger, french fries, and a single drink.

When the meal arrived, the man cut the hamburger in half and placed one part of it in front of his wife. He then did the same with the french fries and placed the drink in between. They both took sips one by one.

While the man had his piece of the hamburger, his wife was just sitting there watching him eat.

A man who noticed them decided to approach them and offered to buy them another meal, but the elderly man said, “No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.”

As he continued eating, his wife was patiently waiting and was taking sips every now and then.

The man who was at the restaurant approached them once again and offered to at least buy them another drink.

The elderly man refused once again saying that he and his wife share everything.

Finally, when the husband finished eating and wiped his mouth, the man who was observing them approached them for the third time because he couldn’t help but learn why the woman was waiting for her husband to eat.

He got closer and asked her: “What is that you are waiting for?”

The wife replied, “The TEETH.”

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

Buying a new home is a big deal. When we own our own piece of heaven, we get to experience freedom.

When a man purchased a new place, he was excited to take a closer look around. What he didn’t expect, however, was to find a secret passage to an underground man’s cave.

The place used to be an English monastery from the 19th century that was later renovated and divided into 30 apartments. The one this man bought seemed relatively cheap for the price, and he got a bonus place.

This is what the tiny studio looks like.

Being built long time ago, the place has very high ceiling, like the ones they had centuries ago.

The high ceiling also allows the bed to be positioned at an unusual place.

The first floor includes a small bathroom.

In front of the bathroom door, there is a handle on the floor that leads to the secret place.

At first, it looks like an extra storage.

Or maybe like stairs to heaven…or hell?

After exploring further, it has been revealed that the space is pretty big and that its rooms under those of other owners and tenants.

Writings on one of the walls reveal that someone had visited the place over the last years.

The last room, out of many, has a high ceiling.

A hole in the middle of the floor make us believe that something has been unearthed recently.

We truly hope this man will get to keep both apartments for himself. If that’s the case, it’s awesome that he gets two spaces for the price of one.

For more, go to the video below.

Wouldn’t it be nice to own a place with a secret passage and a dungeon?

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Bored Daddy

Love and Peace