As a nation, Americans show utmost respect for the military men and women who fight for our country and our freedom. The need to pay respect to these service officers grows even bigger on Memorial Day, the day when we remember those who lost their life for the country.
On this particular day, it is not uncommon for family members and strangers alike to gather at memorials and pay their tributes to the fallen military members. They often bring flowers and flags, or simply stand in quiet reflection. Over time, a tradition of leaving coins on the tombstones of the fallen soldiers emerged, and for those unfamiliar with it, it can be rather puzzling at first.
If you are unaware of this tradition and you’ve noticed coins on a tombstone, you probably thought someone dropped them by accident. But that’s not the case. In fact, these coins carry a heavy weight. They represent a gesture of appreciation for the sacrifice the soldier has made for our country.
Next time you visit a memorial and you spot coins on a veteran’s tombstone leave them be and if you can, place one yourself.
The coins serve the purpose of the soldiers’ families to know that someone had visited the grave and is thankful for the sacrifice their loved ones made. And trust me, this gesture can mean the world to them. It means that even after many years, sometimes decades, the person is not forgotten and people still stop to honor their life.
This gesture is both emotional and comforting.
Interestingly, the type of coin left behind often tells the story of the relationship between the fallen soldier and the person visiting their resting place.
When someone leaves pennies, it means a complete stranger stopped by to pay their respect.
Nickels on the other hand carry a more personal touch. If they are left on a tombstone, it means the resting place was visited by a fellow soldier who survived booth camp together with the fallen soldier. They also symbolize the that initial, grueling bond the two formed during training.
A dime means the visitor and the fallen soldier served together at some point in their life. This coin represents the deep camaraderie and trust people in uniform who serve together develop.
A quarter, however, is the most poignant of all because it means the visitor was there when the soldier lost their life. It is a truly touching tribute to a shared, painful history.
For the grieving families, these coins aren’t just a piece of metal, but proof that someone out there took a moment to recognize the heroism and the sacrifice of the loved one they lost.
From time to time, the groundkeepers at the cemetery collect the coins, but they don’t keep for themselves. Instead, they are either donated to cover burial costs for other veterans or used to maintain the cemetery. This way, the coins give back to the community of veterans.
This may seem like a simple tradition, but it is one that carries a powerful meaning. A coin left on a tombstone is a lasting reminder of the respect we have for the men and women who gave everything to ensure the freedom we have now.
If you wonder how long this tradition has been around, it turns out it dates back centuries and its history is as fascinating as the tradition itself.
According to the Department of Military Affairs, the tradition actually reaches back to the Roman Empire, and today, it’s practices in nearly every part of the world.
In ancient times, people placed coins in the mouths of fallen soldiers to pay for their passage across the River Styx, which was said to be the border between the living and the dead. Even in naval history, people placed coins under the mast of a ship to ensure that if they were lost at sea, the ferryman would be paid to take their souls safely back to shore.
In the United States, this tradition has been cemented into culture during the Vietnam War. During times when a country was deeply divided by politics, leaving a coin on a tombstone became a respectful way to show support. It allowed people to say “thank you” to the fallen soldier and their family without sparking a debate about the war. And that’s how a piece of metal became a symbol respect, unspoken but felt by all.
For some, Memorial Day is often a time for weekend and BBQ, but in essence, it is a day to stop and remember. Besides leaving a coin on the tombstones of fallen soldiers, there are other genuine ways to pay tribute and honor those who sacrificed everything.
Show up for the community
There are a number of towns that hold local ceremonies and organize parades to honor the day and pay their respects. Without a doubt, it means the world to the families that you are there in person and that their loved ones are still remembered. It’s like the world is coming together and giving the military personnel a big “thank you” and that it much more impactful than just standing on the sideline.
Fly the flag with intention
If you have a flag, fly it as a sign of respect. Just a heads-up on the etiquette: The Department of Veterans Affairs says that on Memorial Day, the flag should be flown at half-staff from sunrise to noon, then at full staff until sunset. A small detail, perhaps, but one that proves you really understand the significance of the day.
Wear a red poppy
This bright little flower became a symbol of remembrance since World War I. It was inspired by the poem In Flanders Fields written by the Canadian military doctor John McCrae and has turned into a national tradition ever since the VFW started distributing then in 1922. When you wear one, you keep that history alive.
Leave a digital tribute
You can actually commemorate a specific veteran by posting on the Veterans Legacy Memorial website. This is a VA site that keeps the memory of almost 4.5 million veterans alive. You can look up a specific veteran and post a picture and/or a message to ensure their story continues to be told.
Cherish your time together
Memorial Day is a reminder to appreciate the freedom we enjoy because of those who fought for it. So when you gather together with family and friends, you honor the fallen soldiers by enjoying the life they sacrificed to protect. To be thankful for your loved ones is probably the best tribute you can pay.
Leave flowers
Many people leave flowers on the tombstones of fallen soldiers, and this is probably one of the most classic ways to pay your respects. This is a tradition shared by many cultures throughout the world.
Say a prayer
If you are a person of faith, simply say a prayer and mention the deceased in a personal way.
Dave Taylor, a Vietnam War veteran, never misses a chance to place coins on the tombstones of his fellow combat friends. He feels like that way he’s keeping the memory of the deceased military members alive.
“It’s a story about life, about sacrifice, and about remembrance,” said Taylor.
Whether it is flowers, a prayer, or a coin on the grave, all these gestures point to the truth that the hero’s story doesn’t end when they are laid to rest.
At the end of the day, Memorial Day is more than just a day on the calendar. It is a commitment to remember the heroism, the names, and the families of those who have given it all. By taking a moment to remember their sacrifice, we can ensure that the freedoms we have today are never taken for granted.
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