Daughter sparks debate after asking father to pay $200k for destination wedding

My daughter wants me to fork out $200k for a destination wedding for 200 guests, and now she’s calling me a jerk… What should I do?

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Many people dream of having the perfect wedding. But the truth is that weddings can be extremely expensive.

One worried father took to the Reddit thread AITA (Am I The A*****e) and asked from fellow users to tell him whether he’s in the wrong for refusing his daughter’s lavish wedding besides making a heartfelt promise to finance the event in the past.

As any parent would do, this father told his daughter that when the time comes, he would not only contribute financially, but he would cover all costs related to her wedding. What he wasn’t aware of was that his daughter’s plans for her happiest day would exceed all of his expectations of what a wedding should cost.

As he described in his post, his daughter, although from New York, wanted to have her wedding in New Zealand. On top of that, she was planning on inviting between 100 and 200 guests. Not only this, it would carry a staggering price tag of $200,000.

This revelation left the father at a crossroad. He did want to make her daughter’s wish for her dream wedding a reality, but he was torn between doing such a thing and what he described as “burning money” and fearing it would alienate family members.

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He posted about his dilemma, writing, “My wife feels I should do it because we can afford it, but I find it to be a pointless showing of wealth. Now my daughter is not talking to me, nor is my wife. Which got me thinking should I bite the bullet and essentially burn money, and alienate family members to make my daughter’s dream wedding a reality?”

Redditors were quick to share their opinion, and as expected, most of them believed the father was not the a*****e for refusing to pay for such a wedding.

 “If she can’t pay for a destination wedding on her own, then she shouldn’t be having a destination wedding. It seems cruel but it’s true. Not to mention there’s so much more money involved with the flights and the hotels and stuff. Is she going to be paying for her own ticket or are you expected to fork out for them too? And her fiancé’s ticket,” one person wrote.

“Not to mention the fact that she’s thrown a strop and isn’t talking to you tells me she doesn’t deserve it. I’m a believer of we are not entitled to our parents money. I don’t expect any inheritance off of my dad if he ever passes, even though he has a big life insurance. I would rather have my dad than the money,” they continued.

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Another redditor proposed a compromise; the father should give his daughter a budget consisting of how much he believes he should pay and everything above that should be covered by the daughter.

“Establish the amount of $$ you are willing to provide and give her the budget. Tell her anything above that is on her and her fiance. Make sure to tell her if that includes travel, etc for the bridal couple and family members. If she wants a blow out wedding, she can pay for it,” they wrote.

The father still hasn’t posted of his final decision, he just added that his daughter is now not talking to him and is calling him names such as jerk.

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