As surprising as it may sound, ring shaming, or making others feel poorly about the size, style, shape or cost of their engagement ring is becoming a prominent trend.
In today’s society, many women expect a large diamond that can cost thousands and thousands of dollars – nothing less will do. That’s not the case with one young woman and her fiance, Ariel and Quinn McRae!
Ariel experienced a ring shaming firsthand – and it wasn’t from a rude family member or friend. The harsh words actually came from a saleswoman at the jewelry store…
In an attempt to stop the shame, Ariel shared her interaction with the ill-mannered woman, as well as her own mature response on Facebook:
“My husband doesn’t have a lot, neither of us do. We scrape and scrape to pay bills and put food in our bellies, but after almost two years of dating we decided that we couldn’t wait anymore, so we didn’t.
I wasn’t even thinking about rings, I just wanted to marry my best friend, but he wouldn’t have it. He scraped up just enough money to buy me two matching rings from Pandora. Sterling silver and CZ to be exact. That’s what sits on my ring finger, and I am so in love with them.
While we were purchasing my rings however, another lady that was working there came over to help the lady selling them to us. She said, ‘Y’all can you believe that some men get these as engagement rings? How pathetic.’
When she said that I watched my now husband’s face fall. He already felt bad because he couldn’t afford the pear-shaped set that so obviously had my heart and covered my Pinterest page. He already felt like a failure, asking me again and again, ‘Are you sure you’ll be happy with these? Are you sure this is okay?’
He was so upset at the idea of not making me happy enough and of me not wanting to marry him because my rings didn’t cost enough money or weren’t flashy enough.”
“Old Ariel would have ripped that woman a new one. Mature Ariel said, ‘It isn’t the ring that matters, it is the love that goes into buying one that is.’ We bought the rings and left.
Y’all, I would have gotten married to this man if it had been a 25-cent gum-ball machine ring. When did our nation fall so far to think the only way a man can truly love a woman is if he buys her $3,000 jewelry and make a public decree of his affection with said flashy ring?
Sure they are nice, sure the sentiment is wonderful, and I’m not trying to cut down any of your experiences, but when did it come to all that? Why do material possessions equate love??
My husband was so afraid of me not wanting him because he couldn’t afford a piece of jewelry. He was afraid that the love I have for him would pale because he couldn’t afford the wedding set I wanted. The world has made it this way and it is so sad.
Here I am though, court-house married, $130 ring set, the love of my life by my side and happier than I could ever imagine.
Update: This post keeps growing (much to my surprise), and I’ve been asked a thousand times how we met. So here is the short version!
My husband and I met online at the age of 20, talked on the phone (and I mean actually talked not text) for [more than] 6 hours a day for two days. He then drove an hour out of his way to take me on a date. I wore a tacky Christmas sweater (if you think I am lying, ask him).
We ate wings, had a burping contest, and drove around listening to music and singing. I fell in love with him on the first date. If he had asked me to marry him the first time we met, I probably would have said yes.
To be honest, we had wanted to elope three months into dating, but decided to take some extra time to get established beforehand. Ultimately we couldn’t wait any longer.. so we eloped. I’ve never been this happy in my life and I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else ever.”
Instead of yelling, screaming or saying something rude back, Ariel handled her insult with grace and dignity!
For Ariel, it’s not about the money or size of the diamond – it’s really all about spending the rest of her life with her best friend and future husband! Hopefully others realize the same thing and stop shaming women that don’t have an enormous rock atop their finger.