The week away from home felt like eternity. I was eager to get back home to my boys, who were in the care of their dad while I was away.
My husband is an awesome man, but when it comes to our children, he’s the fun parent and I’m usually the one who makes sure the house rules are followed.
However, I was confident he would do great job having them well-fed and everything.
When I finally arrived home, I made sure I didn’t wake Tommy and Alex up, so I tiptoed inside, with the keys jingling in my hand.
But just as I reached the hallway, I stumbled upon something soft. My heart skipped a beat and I rushed to find the light switch. But just as I turned the lights on, I almost collapsed.
My boys were sleeping in the middle of the hallway.
With their faces dirty and their hair sticking up in all directions, they were tangled up in blankets, just like little puppies.
“What the hell is going on?” I thought to myself as I hardly dared to enter the living room.
Honestly, the first thing that came to mind was that there was a fire, a gas leak, or even someone robbing the place, but the moment I noticed the chaos in the living room, I knew my husband was behind that mess. Empty pizza boxes and soda cans were all over the place. Melted ice-cream dripped from the coffee table, and my husband, Mark, was nowhere to be seen.
The bedroom looked like no one has slept there that day.
Then, I heard strange noises coming from the children’s room. My imagination went wild, and I had no idea what to expect once the door of that room was opened.
And, there was Mark, with a controller in his hands, the headphones on, surrounded by all sorts of energy drinks. He turned the kids’ room into a gaming paradise, with a huge TV on the wall and LED lights in every corner of his “man cave.”
Mark was so engrossed in whatever game he was playing that he didn’t even notice me.
Anger built up in me like a volcano that was about to erupt.
“Mark, what is going on? Are you insane?” I screamed.
“Oh, baby, you are home early,” he said, surprised to see me.
“Early!? It’s almost midnight!” I said, trying not to wake the kids up.
“Why are Tommy and Alex sleeping in the hallway?” I asked, angrily.
“Honey, don’t worry about the boys. They wanted to sleep there. They are just having an adventure, pretending to be camping.”
“Oh, my God, Mark. Do you hear yourself?” I said, trying to process his shallow explanation.
“Everything’s under control. I’ve been feeding them and stuff.”
“Feeding them? With what? Pizza and soda!? Oh, Mark, I thought you knew better than that,” I said, trying my best not to start crying over the stupidity of his action.
“It’s not a big deal, Sarah, lighten up a bit,” he said.
And that’s when I knew I had it enough.
“Go pick the kids up! Right now,” I yelled at him. “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? They are sleeping outside like animals while you are having fun with your console.”
I tried to grab the controller but Mark wouldn’t let it. “I’m in the middle of a game, Sarah, let the boys be, that’s what they wanted. And I needed some me-time, don’t you understand?”
That’s when I finally managed to grab the controller out of his hands and demanded he put the kids in their beds.
I felt sorry for how dirty their faces were. He probably hadn’t given them a bath for a week. Poor boys.
And there I was, with two actual kids and a grown up who acted like one.
Once the kids were in their beds, I took a shower and went to sleep, unwilling to argue with Mark any further.
In the morning, I decided to teach him a lesson.
He woke up and came to the kitchen and I greeted him with the biggest grin. “Good morning, darling,” I said, “here’s your breakfast.”
He was confused, thinking I would still be mad, but I had something else on mind, a way to teach him a lesson.
When I handed him the pancakes with smiley faces drawn on them, served in a Mickey Mouse plastic plate, he knew I was up to something.
After breakfast, I showed Mark the giant, colorful chore chart plastered on the fridge. “Look what I’ve made for you,” I said, “you’ll be getting a gold star for every chore you complete, like doing the dishes, and putting away your toys.”
“My toys? Sarah, what are…”
Before he even finished his sentence, I said, “And yes, there is a new house rule, no more screens after 9 pm.”
For an entire week, I turned off the Wi-Fi after 9 pm, leaving Mark frustrated.
His breakfast included dinosaur-shaped sandwiches and crackers served in kid’s plates. He wanted to act like a child so I treated him like one.
Whenever he completed a chore, I was putting on a big show of giving him a gold star. “Good job, babe, mommy’s so proud of you,” I’d say.
Mark was aware he made a huge mistake when he left our boys sleep in the hallway and it was obvious he regretted that entire week I was away.
“Sarah, I’m so sorry. I know I was wrong. It won’t ever happen again,” he said, looking defeated.
I knew Mark realized what he did, so I forgave him and reminded him that the kids needed a father, not another playmate.
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Bored Daddy
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