Experiencing a miscarriage is one of the most painful and heartbreaking events a person can endure. It provokes feelings of sadness, immense grief, and sometimes guilt.
Many parents to be experience shock and disbelief upon learning of the miscarriage as the mind struggles to process the devastating news of change of circumstance. All of a sudden, it feels like all the dreams have been shattered like a piece of glass. Anxiety about future pregnancies is also present, which adds to the difficulty of the situation.
Sadly, the number of couples who have gone trough this devastating experience is huge and although every person deals with the loss in their own way, the pain is almost always the same, and it hardly goes away.
Whitney Quinton and her husband Brett welcomed a son in their lives, but they always dreamed of having more children. Unfortunately, Whitney experienced health issues, including endometriosis, for which she had undergone a surgery, and falling pregnant again was difficult.
After some years, and a miscarriage, she did learn she was carrying a baby and only hoped for the best.
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During the first couple of weeks everything seemed normal. But one day, while at a regular check-up, Whitney waited for the scans way longer than usual and that was the first sign that something was wrong.
“I started getting worked up while we waited and my husband tried to reassure me it would be okay,” she explained to Love What Matters.
“My mind was going a thousand miles a minute thinking about all of the things she could have and how scared I was.”
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The news that followed was dreadful. Their daughter’s heart was at a different spot, she was missing a kidney, and her long bones were not growing. The scans also showed severe abnormalities with her limbs.
“[The radiologist] then stated in very direct terms, ‘You can terminate this pregnancy in the next three weeks if you are unable to handle this,'” Whitney wrote.
“I let out a scream I didn’t even know I was capable of. I fell to my knees and kept screaming and I immediately had sheets of tears streaming down my face. My husband continued to rub my back while he too wept.”
The following two weeks were extremely difficult; both physically and emotionally. She and her husband were tired and heartbroken.
Whitney underwent plenty of tests and they all showed that in case their daughter survived by any chance, she would have a very low quality of life.
“Day and night, my husband and I cried. We felt like we had nothing left to give. Selfishly, we wanted her.
“To us, she was perfect even though there were so many complications with her health. It didn’t matter to us. But as parents you learn that it’s not about what’s best for you, it’s about what’s best for her and what she would want.”
They turned to God and prayed all the time, hoping to be given some clarity about the decision they were about to make.
“Two days later, we agreed that neither she nor I needed to suffer for one more minute. The induction was scheduled for a few days later, and the evening came for me to take the medication to induce labour. I would be delivering her the next day.
“I had blurred vision and was so gravely ill that I told Brett I loved him many times in case I died, I was supposed to attend my work party the night before as I thought it would be better to have a distraction instead of sobbing all evening. The time came to leave and my health turned a corner.”
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Whitney’s experience delivering her baby was, as expected, both painful and traumatic.
“I woke up and the nurse came to check on me. In my sleep, our daughter, Ruby-Jo, had arrived,” she wrote.
“The doctor came in to pick up her tiny, 1- pound, lifeless body and I went into complete shock.”
At that moment, she was overwhelmed by feelings of extreme sadness, anger, and guilt.
In the midst of her heartbreak, her husband whispered words she would never forget.
“Whits, it’s okay. You did it,” he told her. “She’s finally home and she’s perfect. She’s with our family in Heaven, and she’s not in pain anymore. I am so proud of you.”
“Not a day has gone by that I don’t think about the words my husband said to me that day,” Whitney wrote. “He saved me then, and his words continue to save me daily when I fight demons with the Earth-shattering decision we had to make for her.”
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“She is sealed to our family and, someday in Heaven, we will all be reunited,” Whitney wrote.
“I will embrace her and I know she will thank us for relieving her of all of her suffering. We will thank her for teaching us how to turn to God, to have more compassion, and be there for others during tragedies to lift them up.”
We are so very sorry about everything this family was forced to go through.
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