Two women in heaven share ‘how I died’ stories — with a priceless twist

Some jokes are so good, they make us laugh until we cry, and the one below definitely falls into that category.

The twist of this “story” of two women sharing how they died is priceless beyond words.

Read it below:

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda!

2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I… died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d both still be alive!

If this made you laugh, here’s a bonus joke.

A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die.

They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them:

“Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line.”

And they do so. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her: “Sister, have you ever touched a p***s?”

The Sister Responds “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta… touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…”

St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted,” and she does what she’s told.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p***s?”

“Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…”

“Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted,” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!”

Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her a** in it!”

Hilarious!

Please SHARE these jokes with your family and friends on Facebook.

Bored Daddy

Love and Peace

Kelly White
Kelly White
Kelly White is an award-winning journalist based in London where she covers financial markets, economies and companies in Europe.

More from author

Related posts

Latest posts

Why Melania Trump skipped the baby shower of stepdaughter Tiffany Trump

Tiffany Trump’s pregnancy was revealed in October when her father, businessman-turned-president Donald Trump, shared the news with the crowd at an event at the...

The real-life crime drama of Woody Harrelson: Shocking truth about his dad

Oscar nominee Woody Harrelson, best known for his memorable roles in Natural Born Killers, The Hunger Games, Cheers, and No Country for Old Men,...

Woman is diagnosed with cancer — believes a popular sandwich is to blame

Lucie Morris-Marr, an investigative journalist and author of the book Processed, received a shocking bowel cancer diagnosis when she believed was in the best...

Little girl stabs plane passenger with fork — gets shoe threat in return

A viral TikTok video shows a little girl on a 14 hour Qatar Airlines flight stabbing a random passenger with a metal fork while...

Washington’s new lead prosecutor wastes no time, secures major convictions

Washington's new lead prosecutor Jeanine Pirro is making headlines for all the right reasons. Two months into her new role, Pirro started restoring order...

What drying laundry indoors does to your lungs

When it's raining outside and the weather is cold, you may feel tempted to dry your clothes indoors. This is a actually something a...