9 harsh truths you are unaware of until after you get divorced

By
Monica Pop
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0

When we get married to that one person who feels just right, the idea of that relationship falling apart feels a world away, and maybe that is the reason why for a long time divorce has been one of those subjects we’ve rarely talked about.

However, divorce between two people happens more often that one assumes, and when it does, it’s not just about the legal mess that people are forced to face, but more about the start of an emotional journey that can take years for people to come to terms with.

When you think about it, divorce doesn’t just end a marriage, it changes how you see yourself, your connections with the people in your life, and the world at large.

Some of the biggest truths people learn don’t come with the divorce itself, but after what’s left after it. Some of these truths are hard to grasp, and other bring a strange kind of peace. All in all, they represent a beginning of carving a path towards moving on and growing up.

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1. It’s rarely about one partner being the problem

We tend to assume that every divorce has a clear “bad guy” and a victim. We want to point a finger at someone who “ruined everything.” But in the real world, it’s rarely that simple.

In most cases, what we have are two people who tried their best, perhaps for many years, but simply were not compatible in the ways that really mattered. This does not mean that anyone was a failure or broken in any way. It simply means that the relationship had run out of road.

Being obsessed with blame does nothing but keep you stuck in place. When you realize that not all relationships are destined to last the distance, it’s much easier to let go of the guilt. Rather than trying to determine who was at fault, the question becomes “what did not work and why?”

2. You can see the side of your partner you never knew existed

One of the scariest aspects of a divorce is watching your partner change right in front of your eyes. Many people, although they’ve decided to split, believe their marriage was solid and loving, but all that changes once the lawyer gets involved. So, your partner, who you once considered your rock and that one person you could rely on, suddenly becomes cold, defensive, and even nasty. There are also cases where the emotions of one of the partners regarding the other are so raw that no communication is possible.

This can come as a complete shock, especially if you believed that you knew that person all to well both inside and out. What some of us forget, however, is that the process of divorcing a partner is a stressful situation and people do weird things when they are under stress. That’s why having a support system is so big; it helps keep both sides grounded when everything else around them is changing.

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3. The silence can be overwhelming at first

You’ve shared a lifetime with someone, and then out of the blue, that person is no longer part of your life, and you are left with silence that feels awkward at first. Coming into an empty house can be a heavy thing at first. It’s the little things, like not having anyone to talk to about your day, that really makes it hit you. It can be loud for a lot of people.

But this feeling tends to fade away eventually, and you simply get used to the new situation.

4. You start finding yourself again

There is a lot of give and take in a relationship, and it’s so easy to lose a piece of yourself along the way. You stop listening to the same kind of music, you change your routine, and you even change your personality a little bit to make everyone happy.

When you get out of a relationship, those pieces of yourself start coming back to you. You start to enjoy the things you used to enjoy again – whether it’s a hobby or a food or a way of spending a Saturday afternoon that you hadn’t thought of in years. Some people go back to those old things; others discover a new passion within themselves.

This isn’t about “starting over” like a failure. This is about meeting yourself again. It’s about remembering that you are who you are, no matter what your relationship status is. You are who you are because of your own values and your own quirks, and those have never changed.

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5. You begin to reevaluate more than just your relationship

Divorce is usually a trigger for a chain of events. So once you get separated from your partner, you not only reevaluate your relationship but nearly every aspect of your life.

You begin to see your own habits, your grind, even the people you’re surrounding yourself with. Your friendships, which were perfectly fine before, might now be exhausting you. You might finally see some patterns, like how you’re eating or how little you’re caring for yourself.

It’s a big audit, and it can bring some massive changes. You might get healthier, establish better boundaries, or even simplify your life. It’s like a total system reset, one that’s forced on you, yes, but one that brings doors of opportunities for you to grow, opportunities you might not have had otherwise.

6. The stigma is still present, even if it shouldn’t be

While divorce is no longer stigmatized like it was back in the day, it still somehow feels like there’s this weird weight to it. People don’t really know how to talk to you about it, and that can leave you feeling pretty lonely.

You might lose some friends who don’t know how to deal with it. Or people might unintentionally make you feel like they’re judging you. In some circles, being divorced is like a strike against you.

But ultimately, you come to see that people are dealing with their own insecurities when they judge you for being divorced. They’re projecting their own fears of commitment. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the less what other people think of you matters.

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7. The grief

You got divorced, it’s not that your partner passed away, so people assume you shouldn’t be grieving because they only associate grief with death and underestimate just how painful a divorce can be.

In a way, divorce is death, not of a person but of a future. It’s death of a future that never really happened. What’s worse is that people expect from you to just move forward, as though nothing had happened, and that’s almost always easier said than done. No, the pain doesn’t end when the legal process does, but that’s something not many understand.

The healing process can be a messy one, because there are days when everything seems just fine, and days when something random comes up and it knocks you over. The most important thing is to give yourself the time to heal without rushing your grief.

8. Ending a marriage doesn’t mean you’ve failed

A lot of people associate divorce with failure, but that’s never the case. We’ve been told that the only measure of a successful marriage is forever. That just staying put, no matter how miserable we are, is the ultimate goal.

Well, staying in a marriage that is dead, or even one that is harming us, is not strong. Sometimes, it takes more courage to walk away than it ever took to stay.

Divorce is not a failure. Divorce is just being honest with yourself. It’s recognizing that the marriage is not working, that it’s broken, and having the courage to change direction instead of wasting more time.

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9. You become someone new

Divorce often comes with a “label.” But the good thing is that over time, this starts feeling more and more irrelevant.

Following a divorce, many believe you try to get to being “normal,” but that’s not what really happens. Usually, when who go through divorce, because of one reason or another, somehow you move to a new and better version of yourself.

You realize exactly what you need and what you’re no longer willing to put up with. You may even date again, but you do it with a lot more intention. Divorce isn’t just a tragic ending; it’s a turning point into a far more honest part of your life.

Conclusion

Divorce is brutal, period. It messes with your identity, your schedule, and your head. But within all of that chaos, there is a real opportunity to rebuild.

The awkwardness eventually turns into clarity. The quietness starts to feel like peace. The grief starts to feel lighter. The uncertainty starts to feel like a new direction.

It’s not about the things that fell apart; it’s about the things you get to build next. For most people, that means a stronger sense of self, stronger connections to others, and a much clearer sense of what’s truly important to you.

It closes one door but opens another to a life that’s more “you.”

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Love and Peace

Starbucks barista’s ‘secret message’ to customer completely backfires

By
Monica Pop
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0

Writing messages on a cup of coffee has somehow turned into a trend during the past years, and many customers find it extra special when they stumble upon something like “thanks a LATTE!” “thank you SOY much!” “have a BREW-tiful day!” or “WATER we’d do without you?!”

However, one woman swore she’ never returning to a Starbucks location after the barista scribbled a “hidden message” on her cup.

Namely, twin sisters Ari and Noe Chance, from Canada, took to TikTok to share a video which shows one of them holding a Starbucks cup, with a “secret message” written across the top and an arrow directing attention to the printed hot drink warning underneath.

Normally, the text warns customers: “Careful, the beverage you’re about to enjoy is extremely hot.”

Well, it turned out the barista crossed se of those words out to have the message read, “Careful, you’re extremely hot.”

The barista probably thought his comment would make the woman’s day, but just the opposite happened. According to the twin sister, she felt embarrassed instead of flattered. “What just happened at Starbucks? Never going back there,” she said.

TikTok / chance_twins

The video, which was initially shared in 2022, went viral. Some people felt the message was humorous and explained that it reminded them of the cup warning and “was kinda funny.” Others, however, felt the message came across as… well, just “rude.”

“That was smooth [though] not gonna lie,” shared one TikToker, while a second wrote, “It’s cute, girls say guys never do anything. He just put his heart out to you.”

A third said, “This is why guys stopped asking girls out. Someone attempted to ‘shoot their shot’ and you put them on blast on TikTok and said you are not going back.”

Another added, “That is rude who did that, but that person is not wrong – you’re beautiful.”

Well, there were also those who questioned if the barista was the one who wrote that message or it was the sisters themselves for the sake of likes and media attention.

@chance_twins AHAHAHA😭 never going back there #fyp #starbuck ♬ original sound – Safar

“The quest for clout is never ending,” shared one netizen, while a second wrote, “She definitely wrote that herself.”

A third added, “one of the cheapest tricks for 2 million views.”

The skepticism also led to more sarcastic remarks: “Now spill it on yourself and sue,” wrote one TikToker, while a second quipped, “Spill it in yourself and sue Starbucks [because] the safety info was blocked.”

What are your thoughts on this trend of baristas scribing messages on customers’ coffee cups? Have you ever received one yourself?

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Frequent intestinal gas: the real causes that almost no one explains clearly

By
Bryan Seal
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0

Why am I always bloated and gassy? A deep dive into reclaiming your gut health

Well, we’ve all been there. You’re out for a nice dinner, or you’ve just had a quick bite for lunch at the office, and within twenty minutes, you feel like you’ve shrunk two sizes. Your stomach is constricted, you’re acutely aware of the waistband on your pants, and you’re doing the subtle “post-meal stretch” just to find some relief.

It’s not the most pleasant feeling, and let’s be honest, it’s also a bit embarrassing. What we’ve all been told is that it’s “part of getting older,” or “something I ate,” but when bloating and gas have become the norm, it’s your body’s way of screaming, “Hey, something’s wrong here!” It’s your body’s way of warning you that the complex, 30-foot-long assembly line known as your digestive system has a bottleneck somewhere.

So in this guide, we’re going to go beyond the surface and explore the science of why you’re producing gas in the first place, the hidden culprits in your kitchen, the biological misfires such as SIBO and enzyme deficiency, and the day-to-day changes you can make to start feeling light again.

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The reality check: what is “normal” anyway?

Before we get into the “fixes,” let’s talk about what’s really going on inside your body. Gas is not a failure; it’s a side effect of living! Every time you eat a meal, you’re feeding a colony of trillions of bacteria living in your gut. These bacteria eat what you eat, and just like you, they have waste products – often in the form of gas.

The Cleveland Clinic states the average person passes gas 13 to 21 times per day. Well, if you fall into this category, you must be proud, because you are a normal human being. But bloating, on the other hand, is the feeling of trapped gas or physical swelling. It’s the “inflated” feeling you get, the one where you run to put on sweat pants the minute you walk in the door.

However, when the feeling is chronic, or happens most days of the week, it is usually a sign of an interruption in the digestive process. In order to solve the problem, we need to determine where the interruption is occurring.

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The enzyme gap: when your body can’t keep up

Digestion is like having a highly organized demolition crew work on your food. When you take a big bite of a sandwich, your body sends out its “workers” called digestive enzymes to break down the proteins, fats, and carbohydrates into little pieces your bloodstream can use.

Amylase takes care of the bread, which is carbohydrates.

Protease takes care of the turkey or ham, which is protein.

Lipase takes care of the mayonnaise or cheese, which are fats.

But what if the “demolition crew” does not come to work today? This is called Enzyme Insufficiency. When you do not have enough enzymes, you cannot break down your sandwich into little pieces, and it goes into your large intestine mostly whole.

This is where the trouble begins. Your bacteria in the colon look at this undigested food and see an all-you-can-eat buffet. They go into a process called fermentation. They release gases into your body, including hydrogen and methane. It is exactly the same process that happens when you are baking a loaf of bread.

A study from Clinical and Experimental Gastroenterology states that many people suffer from ‘random’ bloating, but this may simply be because they are deficient in these enzymes, particularly as they get older or are subjected to great stress.

SIBO: the bacteria in the wrong neighborhood

If your bloating happens right away after eating, within a short time of 30 to 60 minutes, then SIBO (Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth) might be the culprit.

Normally, the vast majority of your body’s bacteria reside in the large intestine. Your small intestine is supposed to be a sterile zone, so to speak, so that it can focus on absorbing nutrients from the food you’ve eaten. SIBO occurs when the “gates” between the large and small intestines get stuck or when your body’s gut motility slows down. Bacteria from the large intestine migrate into the small intestine.

When the bacteria are in the small intestine, they get first dibs on the food you ate before you even get a turn to digest it. They ferment the food right in the middle of your abdomen. This results in high levels of pressure and gas in the abdomen.

A study done by Alimentary Pharmacology & Therapeutics found SIBO to be one of the most underdiagnosed causes of bloating. If you notice that even “good” foods like salads are causing you to look like you’re six months pregnant, SIBO is a prime suspect to bring up with your doctor.

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The healthy foods that may be hurting you

It’s not fair, is it? You make an effort to eat well—more beans, more broccoli, more garlic—and your stomach protests with pain. It’s usually due to something called FODMAPs.

FODMAP is a clumsy word for a type of short-chain carbohydrate that is notoriously hard for the human body to digest. It is “osmotic,” meaning it draws water into the body, and is quickly fermented by bacteria.

Common high FODMAP foods include:

Veggie basics: Onions, garlic, cauliflower, and asparagus.

Fruits: Apples, pears, and cherries.

Legumes: Beans, lentils, and soy.

Sweeteners: Sorbitol, Xylitol (often in sugar-free gum).

For the person who has a “cast-iron stomach,” these foods are wonderful. But for the person who has a sensitive digestive system or IBS, these foods are like gasoline on a fire. The Monash University FODMAP guide is the best resource for learning how to reduce these foods for a gut reset.

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Food intolerances: the silent saboteurs

Sometimes, it’s not because of a “bad” gut; it’s simply a case of your genes and your food just not getting along.

Lactose: the common culprit

The sad truth is that most people are lactose intolerant; that is, they don’t digest milk correctly after they are weaned from their mother’s milk. This is called Lactose Intolerance. When you are lactose intolerant, your body does not produce lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose, a sugar found in milk. The lactose then ferments or “rots” in your gut, producing gas and causing you to have urgent bowel movements. According to the Mayo Clinic, many people discover they are lactose intolerant in their 20s or 30s when they realize their lifelong love of ice cream is causing problems for them.

Fructose malabsorption

We are told that fruit is candy from nature, but for some people’s intestines, it is hard to “grasp” the fructose molecules. If you feel bloated after consuming a large smoothie or a lot of honey, then fructose malabsorption might be the underlying issue you are not aware of.

Non-Celiac gluten sensitivity

You don’t have to have Celiac disease to be sensitive to wheat products. Many people complain of low-grade inflammation in their intestines due to wheat proteins and feel “heavy” and bloated.

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Habits: you are “eating” air

Sometimes, the source of the gas isn’t even the food, but the atmosphere. Aerophagia, the medical term for swallowing air, is more common than we think.

Common ways we swallow air:

Eating too fast: If you “inhale” your lunch, you’re literally inhaling air with your food.

Straws and water bottles: Drinking through a straw pulls air into the esophagus before the water even reaches the bottle.

Talking while chewing: The classic recipe for disaster.

Carbonation: The bubbles in your sparkling water or soda contain CO2, which must find a way out. If it doesn’t, it goes down into the intestines.

According to Harvard Health, even making the simple change to flat water and eating slowly, over the span of 20 minutes, can reduce bloating by as much as 30%.

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The stress-gut connection

Have you ever noticed that you tend to be more bloated when you’re stressed out at work or worried about an important event? Well, this isn’t in your head.

The connection between your gut and your brain is through the Vagus Nerve. When you’re in “fight or flight” mode, also known as stress mode, your body takes blood supply away from your digestive system and sends it to your muscles instead. Your digestive system literally comes to a halt. Your food stays in your stomach for longer, giving the bacteria in your stomach more time to ferment it, and the muscles in your stomach can cramp or move irregularly.

This plays a huge part in Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). It’s not just what you eat, it’s also the state your nervous system is in when you eat.

When is the time to see a doctor

Although bloating is usually related to lifestyle or functional causes, it may be associated with something serious, and you should consider consulting a doctor if you are experiencing:

Unintentional weight loss: This indicates that your body is not able to properly absorb calories.

Blood in stool: This may be a sign of inflammation or other gastrointestinal problems.

Severe pain: This could be a sign of a blockage or a gallbladder problem.

Fever: This may be a sign of infection.

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Five steps to a flatter, happier gut

If you’re sick of being a balloon, you don’t need to change everything in your life. With these five changes, you can regain control of your gut:

The 20-Minute Rule: Take a moment to enjoy your food and really chew. This gets the enzymes going and prevents you from swallowing gas.

Post-Meal Walk: Take a 10-minute walk after meals to stimulate the muscles in your abdomen. This is called peristalsis.

The ‘Big Three’ Audit: Try eliminating dairy, processed wheat, and onions/garlic for a day or two. If you feel better, you know the culprit.

Enzyme Backup: Take an over-the-counter enzyme supplement for big meals to ensure you’re digesting fats and proteins.

Ditch the Bubbles: Try drinking flat water instead of soda and skip the straw to stop ingesting bubbles.

Bloating is not just ‘part of the meal’; it is a symptom. By making these small changes, you can stop living with bloating and start enjoying your food again.

*Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician, registered dietitian, or other qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or before making changes to your diet, exercise, or treatment plan. If you experience persistent, severe, or concerning symptoms, consult a healthcare professional immediately.

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Note written by paramedic before suicide reveals dark truth

By
Monica Pop
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0

Rebecca McLellan, 24, born and raised in Clacton, Essex, suffered from bipolar disorder and was under the care of the Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust, which according to her mother, failed to provide her with help when she needed it, which eventually led to her death.

According to the BBC, McLellan was originally cared for by a psychiatrist in Essex, but was discharged when they found out she was moving to Ipswich for work.

“Her GP then also threw her out because she was moving,” her mother said. “There was a real lack of support from the start of her diagnosis, despite Rebecca desperately trying to access it.

“She was hugely let down.”

McLellan, who worked for the East of England Ambulance Service throughout the pandemic, was left without access to a doctor or psychiatrist. She eventually found a new GP in Ipswich, who referred her for specialist care.

She was assigned a care coordinator, but he went on leave. McLellan tried to find out who would replace him and sent numerous emails, but they were all left unanswered.

Rebecca McLellan

According to her mother, at times, the lack of support was so severe that, that her daughter felt she had to adjust her own medication when she was struggling because she could not get professional guidance. She also began ordering and paying for her own drugs online.

In August, during a mental health crisis, she went to a mental health unit in Ipswich and refused to leave until she received help.

“She told them she would drive anywhere in Norfolk and Suffolk to see someone, but they told her to leave – they threatened to call the police,” her mother said.

“The lack of support defined her way of thinking about the future. Rebecca was worried she wasn’t going to be well enough to work. She lived for her job.”

McLellan’s mother, Natalie, explained that an urgent referral was made to assess her daughter’s medication, but the trust cancelled it. When McLellan eventually saw a psychiatrist three weeks later, she was informed she would have to start taking lithium—a change she found “terrifying,” her mother said.

She was scared that particular drug would change her personality and that she wouldn’t be able to work, and to her, her job was extremely important.

Just three weeks later, McLallen took her own life.

During the inquest, evidence revealed that McLellan had struggled with her mental health. Through her work at the East of England Ambulance Service, she had received 18 sessions with psychotherapist Darren Monsigneur, who described her as “high risk” for suicide. Monsigneur offered to continue therapy on a pro bono basis, but she did not take up the offer. She also attended four sessions with psychiatrist Dr Kavitha Devarajan, concluding their last meeting in September 2023.

In a handwritten statement, McLellan expressed her frustration with the mental health system, specifically criticising the Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust (NSFT) for repeatedly failing to respond to her attempts to get help.

A video shown at the inquest recorded McLellan at NSFT’s Ipswich clinic, requesting to speak with a mental health practitioner. The receptionist told her no one was available and threatened to call security if she did not leave.

In a letter written by McLellan, she expressed the hopelessness she felt, saying, “People can survive pretty much everything as long as they can see an end in sight. Unfortunately for me, I cannot. All I can do is wait for the inevitable fall again.”

She went on, “I miss the person I used to be. Unfortunately, that girl is long gone. I’ve been running this race for a little too long, and now my legs are tired.”

She ended her letter by writing, “I know there are those out there who love me, and to those people I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all tremendously. Please know that I tried. I really did.”

Natalie McLellan, the mother of Rebecca McLellan (Image: Shikhar Talwar)

Anthony Deery, chief nurse at the NHS trust, said: “We are very sorry for the profound distress that Rebecca’s tragic loss has caused.

“We have carried out an extensive investigation into the care which Rebecca received, and would like to thank her family and friends for the vital contributions they made during this process.

“Learning from Rebecca’s death has seen us introduce a new protocol to help us respond better when a young person comes to a mental health unit in distress without a planned appointment.

“We will now review the coroner’s findings in detail and take any further action which is necessary to ensure we are delivering safer, kinder and better care.”

McLellan’s mother described her to the press as a “loving person,” “sensitive,” “kind,” and “fiercely loyal.” Known for standing up for other people.

Outside court after the inquest, she said: “[My daughter] wanted help, she fought for help, she wanted to be in control of her life.

“She wasn’t allowed that, she wasn’t given that consistent care she should have been given.”

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JD Vance underwent surgery before being sworn in as VP

By
Monica Pop
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0

The political career of JD Vance is an astounding one, to say the least. However, before he got into politics, he first rose to fame with his memoir Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis in 2016.

Before becoming the Vice President of the US, he served in the military and had a short stint as a venture capitalist.

However, his life hasn’t always been an easy one. On the contrary, he experienced hardship from the moment his parents divorced and his mother started expressing violent tendencies.

Luckily, he had his half-sister, Lindsay by his side.

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Following an incident during which their mother threatened to crash their car and kill both her children, Vance and his sister got adopted by their grandparents.

When Lindsay started her own family and moved, it was extremely hard for Vance, but he never blamed her, because she was still his support.

Eventually, he started hanging out with the wrong people who were involved with using drugs, but it was his grandmother who talked some sense into him. Vance said it was a moment he’d never forget.

“She actually told me in a very menacing voice, ‘Look, JD, I’ll give you a choice. You can either stop hanging out with these kids, or I’ll run them over with my car. And trust me, no one will ever find out,’” Vance told NPR.

Stephen Maturen / Getty Images

After graduating from Middletown High School in 2003, Vance spent four years in the Marine Corps, serving as a combat correspondent in Iraq in 2005.

Retired Maj. Shawn Haney, JD Vance’s officer in charge at Cherry Point, North Carolina, told CNN that he and the rest of the marines knew Vance “would run for office one day.”

“He always did a great job where he was, but always looked forward to the next thing.”

Recalling the four years with the Marine Corps, Vance wrote in his memoir, “When I joined the Marine Corps, I did so in part because I wasn’t ready for adulthood. I didn’t know how to balance a checkbook, much less how to complete the financial aid forms for college.”

He added: “It was the Marine Corps that first gave me an opportunity to truly fail, made me take that opportunity, and then, when I did fail, gave me another chance anyway.”

AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

Once back to the Marine Corps Airfield in Cherry Point, North Carolina, Vance got the opportunity to become a media relations officer, considered the “holy grail” of Marine Corps public affairs with the “biggest audience and the highest stakes.”

In 2009, Vance graduated with a bachelor’s degree in political science and philosophy from the Ohio University. Showing immense talent and hard-work, he then attended Yale Law School, where he graduated with a law degree in 2013.

Today, JD Vance is the vice president of the country.

At the start of his term, he experienced minor health issues.

Vance underwent a “long-planned” minor surgery after appearing at the Capitol earlier in the day for the Senate’s swearing-in ceremony. 

“The Vice President-elect is having long-planned, minor sinus surgery and will be back at work tomorrow,” his spokesperson William Martin told Fox News.

The surgery took place at George Washington University Hospital.

Vance resumed hi duties just 24 hours later.

He is the youngest vice president since Nixon.

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Spanish woman, 25, euthanized – her heartbreaking decision explained

By
Monica Pop
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0

Noelia Castillo, a 25-year-old woman from Spain, won the legal battle against her father to be euthanized.

Following a lengthy legal battle initiated by her father, courts ultimately upheld Castillo’s right to die after a medical body in Catalonia approved her euthanasia request in 2024. Castillo’s case attracted widespread attention in Spain as her family’s legal fight played out. With euthanasia legalized in 2021 under specific criteria, her age, the public dispute, and her circumstances sparked debate before courts ruled in favor of her right to die.

“At last, I’ve managed it, so let’s see if I can finally rest now,” Castillo told Spanish broadcaster Antena 3 in an interview that aired Wednesday. “I just cannot go on anymore.

“I just want to go peacefully now and to stop suffering. That’s all … there’s nothing I want to do. I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to do anything.

“I’ve always felt alone because I’ve never felt understood … before I applied for euthanasia, my world was a very dark place and I foresaw a very dark end. I had no aims, no goals, nothing – and I still don’t.”

Castillo’s father, who was represented by the conservative campaign group Christian Lawyers (Abogados Cristianos), claimed his daughter’s mental judgement was affected by the her personality disorder. He also pointed to “the obligation of the state to protect the lives of people, especially the most vulnerable, as is the case with a young person with mental health problems,” according to the BBC.

Eventually, the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) ruled in Noelia Castillo’s favour. She was euthanized on Thursday in Barcelona.

Announcing her death by euthanasia on Thursday evening on X, Abogados Cristianos pointed her case “highlights the serious flaws” in Spain’s euthanasia law.

Antena 3

Speaking to Spanish television earlier that week, Castillo said her father had tried to legally block her decision to die with dignity. “He hasn’t respected my decision and never will,” she said.

“They’ve said I just lie in bed,” she added. “But I get up out of bed and I shower myself. And I put my makeup on by myself … I’ve managed to do it at last.

“Let’s see if I can rest now because I can’t go on. I can’t go on with this family, I can’t go on with the pain and I can’t go on with all the stuff that’s tormenting my mind.”

She described her difficult childhood, much of it spent in care homes, and said she had been sexually assaulted on several occasions. She said the first time was by her former boyfriend after she had taken sleeping pills, and later by several men in a separate incident.

Afterwards, she tried to take her own life by jumping from a building. She survived, but was left paralysed from the waist down and in constant pain, and needed to use a wheelchair.

Castillo had struggled with mental health problems since her teenage years and was later diagnosed with conditions including severe depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and borderline personality disorder. Medical assessments presented during her case described her suffering as persistent and unbearable.

Eighteen months later, she applied under Spain’s euthanasia law, introduced in 2021, and was granted permission to end her life after a lengthy legal battle.

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“Nobody in my family is in favour,” she said. “I am leaving and you are staying here with all the pain, but what about all the suffering I have endured over the years? I just want to leave in peace and stop the pain.

“The happiness of a father or a mother or a sister shouldn’t precede the happiness of a daughter.”

Castillo said she had made the decision for herself and she did not want to be seen as “an example to anyone”.

She added: “I don’t want anyone to follow in my footsteps. I don’t want there to be people asking how the process works because they want euthanasia and they want to know how it’s done.

“I don’t want them to think about that. I just feel that my life is my life and that I’m not an example to anyone, be it for good or for ill. It’s just my life and that’s all there is to it.”

While her family was allowed to say their goodbyes, Castillo said she wanted to be alone when receiving the injection.

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Eric Trump says Donald Trump was an ‘unconventional’ and ‘strict’ father

By
Monica Pop
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0

President Donald Trump is a father of five, and almost all of his children are involved in different businesses as well as in his political career.

Donald Trump Jr. is the eldest of the president’s children whom he had with his first wife Ivana. Trump Jr. graduated from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania in 2000. The next year, he began working at the Trump Organization, where he currently holds the position of Executive Vice President.

Next, there is Ivanka Trump, Trump’s eldest daughter. Ivanka has been involved in her father’s political career from the start and had an active role in his presidential campaigns preceding both his terms.

Eric Trump is the youngest of Donald and Ivanka’s three children. Just like his older brother, Eric is also serves as an Executive Vice President in the Trump Organization.

Tiffany Trump is the only child Donald Trump had with his second wife, Marla Maples. Unlike her older siblings, Tiffany hasn’t been closely involved in her father’s businesses and politics.

And, of course, there is Barron Trump, the youngest of the siblings and the only son of the president and First Lady Melania Trump.

So, what is Donald Trump like as a father? Over the years, his children has spoken of him as someone who encouraged independence from early age. While he wasn’t typically involved in day-to-day parenting tasks, he focused on ambition and self-reliance, guiding them more by example than by being hands-on in daily parenting. It’s not rarely that he speaks of his children publicly, praising them for their skills and loyalty.

Eric Trump landed a prominent role in his father’s administration after Donald Trump became President. However, Eric’s upbringing wasn’t always smooth, and his bond with his father wasn’t always close. His early years included his parents’ divorce, with his mother gaining custody of him.

Today, Eric plays a major role in the Trump Organization and also focuses on his own family. He has spoken at length about his childhood and what it was like growing up with Donald Trump.

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The divorce between Ivana and Donald Trump involved a 13-month legal battle over the financial settlement. Ultimately, Ivana was granted the divorce on the grounds of “cruel and inhumane treatment” and received a $25 million payout, including $10 million in cash. She was also given custody of their three children, while Donald continued to be involved in their lives. At the time, Eric was just eight.

“I maybe never really put two and two together, but that’s probably when we first started getting a little bit of the limelight, some of the attention, and I had to learn to not care,” Eric Trump told Fox. 

However, despite the legal battle and the nasty divorce, Eric claimed his mother was in fact very supportive of his father throughout the years.

“What’s most interesting is, if you think about this relationship is, you had two people, they broke up, they went their separate ways, very sloppy divorce covered by everybody around the world,” Eric said in 2020.

“If you ask her about him, she will say he’s the greatest president, and that says a lot coming from an ex-wife, especially in light of a very tough and very public divorce.”

In her memoir Raising Trump, Ivana wrote about the children’s upbringing. According to her, it was her who took care of her kids, but she was also very successful as the CEO of two of Trump’s hotels.

“No matter how busy I was, I had breakfast with my children every day. I sat with them at dinner every night and helped them with their homework (I loved algebra) before going out in a Versace gown to a rubber-chicken charity event,” she wrote.

“The kids and I celebrated, traveled, and grieved together. Our bond was, and is, our most valuable possession.

“I believe the credit for raising such great kids belongs to me. I was in charge of raising our children before our divorce, and I had sole custody of them after the split,” she wrote in her memoir. “When each one finished college, I said to my ex-husband, “Here is the finished product. Now it’s your turn.”

She, however, also wrote of Donald Trump as a father, “Donald might not have been the greatest husband to me, but he was a good father to the kids.

“Obviously, they adore him and are fiercely loyal to him. If he were a horrible dad, that would not be the case. If Donald wants to write a book about fatherhood, I would be happy to read it.”

According to Eric himself, his father was “unconventional”, but “incredible.”

“He was less the ‘Let’s go out in the yard and play ball’ parent, but he was much more the ‘Let’s go walk construction sites of these 70 story towers flying up,” Eric Trump recalled. 

“But he was also strict,” he told Fox. “You had to do well in school. Every day I left, I was six years old, he would say ‘no drinking, no drugs, no smoking.’ That’s who he was. He was always so disciplined, but at the same time he gave us enough latitude when we were young professionals to spread our wings a little bit and learn.”

During their childhood, Eric and his siblings, Ivanka Trump and Donald Trump Jr. were “forced” to be competitive.

“We were sort of bred to be competitive,” Ivanka told New York Magazine. “Dad encourages it. I remember skiing with him and we were racing. I was ahead, and he reached his ski pole out and pulled me back.”

Eric added: “He would try to push me over, just so he could beat his 10-year-old son down the mountain.”

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Eric Trump was raised in New York City and went to the Trinity School. He was very close to his siblings, and during summers, they often traveled to Czechoslovakia to visit their maternal grandparents.

The three children shared a strong bond growing up, though, like many siblings, they experienced plenty of rivalry and competition.

“We were sort of bred to be competitive,” Ivanka told New York Magazine. “Dad encourages it. I remember skiing with him and we were racing. I was ahead, and he reached his ski pole out and pulled me back.”

Eric added: “He would try to push me over, just so he could beat his 10-year-old son down the mountain.”

After his parents split, Eric stayed with his mother in New York.

As of his career, Eric Trump’s achievements in the Trump Organization didn’t go unnoticed—he was included in Forbes’ “30 Under 30” list for real estate in 2012.

Beyond his business work, Eric is also active in philanthropy. He founded The Eric Trump Foundation in 2007, and within a decade, the nonprofit had raised about $16 million to support childhood cancer research at St. Jude Children’s Hospital.

Former classmates say of Eric Trump that he is kind, goofy, and down-to-earth, with a talent for woodworking. While some now see him as much like his father, his wife Lara strongly disagrees.

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“Unfortunately politics divide a lot of people. I have it in my own life,” Lara said.

“Eric is always going to be a loyal person to his dad and truly believes what his dad is doing for this country. If people don’t agree with him, I can see how they think he’s changed, but Eric hasn’t changed from the guy I met nine and a half years ago, to the guy I married almost three years ago – he’s still the same humble, kind person.”

Eric and Lara tied the knot in 2014 at the Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida. In September of 2017, the couple’s first child, Eric “Luke” Trump, was born. Two years later, they welcomed daughter Carolina Dorothy Trump.

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Who should an older person live with: especially after 60

By
Monica Pop
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0

You hear people say that when you hit 60, 70, or 80 years old, it’s like the beginning of a long fade-out. But you know what? It’s not. Instead, it’s like the beginning of a whole new chapter. It’s a time in your life when the decisions you make start to have more weight. It’s not that you’re running out of time; it’s that you have more clarity. You stop worrying about the fluff. You stop worrying about the things that you think are unimportant and you’re left with what is in fact important to you.

One of the biggest decisions that you have to make in this time of your life is quite simple: Where am I going to live? Who am I going to live with?

For a long time, the obvious answer was that you eventually move in with your kids. It was just what you did; it was practical; it was “family first”; it was inevitable. But it seems like in recent years, more and more people are pushing back on that. Not because they love their families any less; it’s because we’re finally beginning to understand how big of an effect independence plays in aging well.

Being old is not what it used to be three or four decades ago. People stay engaged, stay sharp, and they’re living longer than they used to. As a result, everything about this conversation has shifted. It’s no longer about “who’s going to take care of me?” and more about “how do I continue to live on my own terms?”

It completely flips the whole vibe of this conversation. From being a victim to being proactive about it.

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The power of having your own keys

There’s something about having your own space that helps you stay grounded. It’s not necessarily about the walls, it’s about you and your identity.

Think about all the little things. Sleeping in when you want to, making your own coffee, deciding how to spend an afternoon. Those little things, those mundane decisions, are what keep you feeling whole. Having those little things is not only what makes you feel better, it’s what makes you feel more alert. Having your own budget, your own meal plans, or even keeping your own house organized is like a “micro-exercise” for your brain.

When someone else is doing everything for you, a little bit of your purpose goes away. Having to do everything for yourself is not being “stubborn”—it’s self-respect. And hey, you don’t have to be a loner to have your own place. You can have all the family and all the friends and all the community you could want, but they have to be your choice, not because you’re sharing a kitchen.

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When the house feels too big

Of course, the stairs might become a little steeper, or the yard work might become a second job. That’s the reality of it all, yes. However, that does not mean the only solution to the problem of how to exit the home is moving into your daughter’s guest bedroom.

It’s possible that the change is about adapting to a new space. It might be a smaller space or a more conducive space to who you are as a person. It might be installing a grab bar in the shower. It’s not about clinging to the past, but about making sure the space you are in is actually conducive to who you are as a person and feels like you.

The messy reality of moving in with family

For many people people over the age of 60 moving in with their family is a dream come true. And why not? You are surrounded by the people you love and trust, and you get constant support for whatever you are in need of.

But if are honest, this can also get rather complicated. Every family has their own “pulse,” their own schedules and habits and weird little rituals. When you move in with family at old age, there can be conflicts. The hardest thing for the older person is the loss of privacy. You’re not really a guest, but you’re not the boss of the place anymore either. Now what you eat and when you go to bed is likely dictated by someone else’s schedule.

Then there’s the “grandparent trap.” It’s wonderful to help out, but it seems like many older folks end up as full-time, unpaid baby sitters. Raising kids is something they’ve already done! Relationships thrive when there’s quality time together, not just time together. Living together ought to be “plan B” when health reasons ask for it, rather than “plan A.”

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The third way: living among peers

Lately, people are looking for something in between. They are looking for a place to live that has other people in the same stage of life.

It’s just that simple. You have your own front door and your own privacy. But you also have the benefit of living in a neighborhood of people in the same stage of life. You can choose to have dinner together if you feel like it. Or you can choose to stay in and not have dinner together if you don’t feel like it. It’s that refreshing to be around people who “get” you. You don’t have to explain yourself.

Why the environment matters more than the numbers

We assume that more individuals in our space equate to less loneliness, but this is not true. One can be lonely in a crowded space and be comfortable in a quiet space.

What truly makes a difference is the quality of space. Having a well-organized and well-lit space is more beneficial to one’s mental well-being than having a crowded space and feeling out of place. Feeling good is not about the number of individuals in the living room but about how you feel about yourself.

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Getting rid of the guilt

The biggest hurdle in all of this? Guilt.

A lot of people worry they’re “letting down” their kids or breaking tradition. They wonder if they’re being selfish by wanting their own space. But deciding how to live isn’t a rejection of your family but an act of self-respect.

Most of the time, kids just want their parents to be happy and safe. If that means staying independent, they’ll usually be relieved to see you thriving.

If you wish to be independent, you do not have to do it alone. Seeking a little assistance, say in cleaning up and running errands, does not mean you are giving up. In fact, it is a way to extend your stay in the home.

Technology also helps. There are just so many gadgets nowadays that make living alone safe. But the best way to ensure that you do not become isolated is to be social and to be open to change. If you are open to the world, the world will be open to you.

The bottom line

But when you get past all of that—past all of the floor plans and logistics and “where does the couch go?”—well, you’re left with only one question: Who are you supposed to be?

This is not a waiting game; you’re not sitting in some waiting room waiting for someone to come by and give you permission to move forward. This is an age of identity. And let’s face it: aging with dignity doesn’t mean you have to put on a happy face and pretend your knees don’t hurt and pretend that stairs aren’t just a little bit taller. That’s not dignity; that’s just stupid. Real dignity is looking in the mirror at who you are today—your strengths and your limitations—and saying, “What do I need to do to continue being me?”

It’s about making choices based on the 70 or 80-year-old version of you, not the 40-year-old version of you that you used to be, and certainly not the “fragile” version of you that other people might try to paint you as.

We think, as a society, that being “connected” to our families means we must sacrifice being “independent.” These are not two sides of the same coin, my friends. You can be as connected as you want to your kids and your grandkids, but you can also have a front door that only you have the key to. Sometimes, that space between you and your family is what keeps those relationships healthy, keeps you from being a “project” to be managed, and keeps you a person to be loved, as opposed to a person to be cared for.

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If you’re trying to figure out what to do next, stop reading those brochures for a second and think about the hard stuff:

Where do I still feel like “me”? (As opposed to just a visitor in someone else’s life?)

Where do I get to be the one who decides if it’s pizza for dinner, or if the TV stays off for the entire day?

Where am I actually living my life, as opposed to just waiting for the next person to check in on me?

For most of us, the answer to those questions is having our own space for as long as we can possibly make it work. Growing older isn’t about checking out of society and fading into the background. It’s about finally checking in to the most authentic version of yourself that you’ve ever been. You’ve spent decades being whatever everyone else needed you to be – a boss, a parent, a spouse. Now? Now you get to just be you.

This is not the “sunset” of your life. This is not the end credits,but the beginning of a whole new story, one where you get to be the star, without all the static of everyone else’s expectations.

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