While every story of discovering infidelity is different, most start the same: with a gut feeling something isn’t right. So when someone suspects that their partner is cheating on them, they turn to clues such as hidden messages and suspicious phone calls, late night meetings, strange receipts, sudden shifts in behavior, and more.
While some decide to track their partners and closely follow their every move, others confront them right away.
The truth is that people go to great lengths to prove their loved ones are involved with someone else.
However, according to Ali Marsh, a private investigator, there is one thing cheaters say that may indicate they are not loyal to their partner.
Speaking to the Telegraph, Marsh, who has been working as a PI for over ten years, shared that if someone starts having feelings for someone at work, they will start talking about them, though subtly. “If they have fallen for someone at work, they may mention them often,” Marsh said. “They want to talk about them but they can’t, so they say, ‘So and so did this today’.”
Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist working for a London clinic, offered her point of view about spotting a cheater. According to her, cheaters freak out at the thought of being loyal and committed to one person only. “Generally, if a person has cheated once, there’s a psychological reason behind it, meaning they will tend to do it again.”
She explained that even the cheater hasn’t been caught in the act, there are ways to tell they are not being loyal.
“When one person in a couple I am seeing is cheating, but hasn’t admitted to it, I can often tell. Usually there’s something about their stories that doesn’t add up,” she shared.
“If one party in the relationship is still very invested and committed to it continuing, but you see the other party acting in a way that doesn’t reflect that commitment, or their behaviour doesn’t really make sense, then there is something missing.”
“As the relationship therapist, you feel that something isn’t resonating about why these two people are really struggling. Usually you find the answers in the person’s background – you begin to dig into their history and discover clues.”
She added: “Perhaps they are more likely to be unfaithful because they have low self esteem? Or because their partner is very dynamic and they’re feeling somewhat neglected?”
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