I haven’t seen my mother in years. For her, I was just an unwanted product of an affair and a period of her life she fought hard to forget. So, when my mom married my step-father and gave birth to a baby boy, her ‘golden son,’ she left me behind.
I was a burden she wasn’t willing to carry so she told my grandmother I was a lot to handle. Had it not been for my grandma who stepped in and took me in, I would have ended up in the foster system.
At the time, I was just 10 years old and still unable to understand why my baby brother deserved all the love and I was pushed aside.
A year after the birth of my brother, my grandma decided to try and fix things for one last time. She and I went to my mom’s for dinner, and when she saw me at the door, she just said, “Oh, you came, too.”
She didn’t expect me, she didn’t even give me a hug or told me she missed me. Nothing.
Instead, she spent the entire time talking how special her son was.
I didn’t hate the baby. He was innocent. But I admit I was jealous of him.
That was the last time I saw my mother and her family.
When I turned 33, my grandma suddenly passed away, leaving a void nothing could ever fill. I felt like my entire world shattered into a million pieces. She was the only person who loved me unconditionally and never left.
My mother didn’t attend the funeral, and it wasn’t something that surprised me because she never stayed in touch.
However, a couple of days after the funeral, she appeared at my door. She was visibly aged, and looked nothing like the woman I remembered. The only thing that was same was her calculating expression.
“Jason knows about you,” she said, without even asking me how I was doing and how I handled my grandma’s loss.
Jason was my half-brother; my mom’s ‘golden son.’
It turned out that my mom, who left me mercilessly when I was still just a child, never told her son about me. He and I only met once, during that final dinner night, when he was still just a baby.
But before her passing, my grandma made sure he learned that he had a sister. What’s more, she told him everything. How my mom left me and chose him and her new husband instead.
Jason didn’t handle the news well. He was mad at my mother for what she did and wouldn’t speak to her and she was now asking me to fix things for her.
“You abandoned me. You erased me. And now you want me to fix it?” I said.
Her tears didn’t sway me. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about that woman, but Jason was another thing. He was my brother, and I only agreed to meet him for his sake.
A few days later, we met at a nearby café. The moment he saw me, he started crying and apologizing. He said he was sorry our mother chose him over me.
I hugged him as tightly as I could. “It’s not your fault,” I said. “She could have loved us both, but she chose to leave me and hide the truth from you.”
I never made amends with my mother, the woman who hurt me deeply, and Jason wasn’t able to forgive her for not telling him I existed.
At the end, he and I remained very close, and our mother was no longer part of our story.
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Bored Daddy
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