Air travel can bring out the best or the absolute worst in people. Most of the time, you get lucky if you get to sit next to a quiet “neighbor,” have an easy flight, or maybe a half-decent meal. But every now and then, fate seats you next to the kind of passengers who make you question why airplanes don’t come with eject buttons.
That’s exactly what happened to me on a 14-hour flight from Sydney to Los Angeles, where two honeymooners turned the cabin into their personal playground.
I’d been away for months and was counting down the hours until I could finally hug my wife and son. I paid extra for a premium economy seat. The flight boarded on time, the seat reclined just right, and for a brief moment, everything seemed fine. Then came Dave and Lia, a freshly married couple.
They were laughing too loudly, bumping into people’s seats, and snapping selfies like they were the stars of an in-flight romance movie no one wanted to watch.
As soon as they reached my row, Dave leaned over with that grin. “Hey, mate, mind switching seats with my wife? She’s a few rows back. It’s our honeymoon.” I asked where she was sitting, and when he pointed somewhere deep in economy, I almost laughed. “I paid extra for this seat,” I told him. “If you want to cover the upgrade, sure.” His face dropped. “You can’t put a price on love, man.” I smiled. “Apparently you can, about a thousand dollars.”
That’s when I became his sworn enemy. What followed was the most creative display of petty behavior I’ve ever witnessed. Dave started coughing, then he watched an action movie on his tablet without headphones. When other passengers complained, he said, “Sorry, folks, we’ll all enjoy it together!”
At first, I tried to ignore him, but Lia soon appeared, squeezing into his seat and whispering loudly between their annoyingly loud laughter.
Finally, I decided to involve the flight attendant, who was quick to come and witness the chaos the couple was making. “They’ve decided to turn this row into a honeymoon suite,” I said.
Dave tried to play the victim, but the attendant didn’t fall for his words. “You can’t sit on another passenger’s lap,” she said. “Actually, you both need to move — to the back.”
The rest of the passengers started applauding as Dave, who wasn’t happy at all, moved to the back of the plane. Needless to say, the rest of the flight was a true delight.
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Bored Daddy
Love and Peace