Bride and her inconsiderate mom insist groom’s sister, 9, with cerebral palsy not to be flower girl because she’s “wrong” for it

His insensitive mother-in-law also told him that he had no idea what a "decent" wedding looks like.


When someone gives themselves the right to make decisions regarding crucial things in your life in your name, then it’s definitely the time for you to stand for yourself and put a stop.

What one groom-to-be shared on Reddit caused a stir among the users. He started his post explaining how his mother-in-law is deciding on everything about his wedding, and that includes the venue, the clothes, the menu, and a lot more. All this, sadly, led to the excitement over the planning to turn into a nightmare for him. What’s even worse, he’s wife-to-be is going along with everything her mom imposes on them.

“Her mom keeps stomping boundaries and changes any plans we come up with to have a ‘decent’ wedding and not let me ‘ruin’ it and embarrass her.” He then gave an example, writing: “My fiancée came to tell me last week that we will be making changes in terms of menu/invitation cards because her mom recommended other things instead of what we agreed on. According to her mom, I have no idea what a ‘good decent wedding’ looks like and wanted to save us (herself) from ’embarrassment.'”

However, what made him angry the most is that his fiancée was now asking for her niece to replace his 9-year-old sister as a flower girl.

“My sister’s is on cloud nine ever since she was told she will be the flower girl. She got her dress and so far she’s tried it on more than 5 times asking me when I’m going to have the wedding which is sweet,” he wrote and added how his little sis has “mild cerebral palsy but she’s functioning and does good at school.”

According to the bride and her mother, the groom’s sister was supposed to be a quest only and not given any role as she would do something embarrassing and might not behave during the wedding ceremony, although they are both aware the girl is well-behaved and way smarter than most kids her age. “I told her no not gonna happen,” he further explained. “Like I gave my parents and my sister my word. No way I’m going to make her upset and sad and let the niece take her place.”

He didn’t want to break his sister’s heart, especially because she was over the moon and was waiting for the wedding with anticipation. “We been arguing over this the whole week and I’m now supposed to call her and say okay but I refused and I’m standing my ground and wanting my sister to be the flower girl despite what others say because this offends me and my family.”

As expected, every user who stumbled upon this groom’s post agreed that it is his sister who should be the flower girl.

“NTA at all. Your sister isn’t just excited about wearing the dress, she’s excited about playing a role in your wedding. It would be unfair and ableist to take that away from her now. Stand up for your sister – she needs to know that you love her and respect her and that her disability doesn’t make her any less worthy. Make sure your fiancee understands that what she’s asking you to do is abhorrent. If she doesn’t see this, I’d honestly reconsider the wedding. There’s no excuse for bullying a child like this,” one Redditor wrote.

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Another person wrote a pretty long comment, but it was definitely worth sharing it with you as it was the most popular of all.

“You need to sit your fiancee down, alone, and have a long conversation about her behavior, and that in no way at all is it acceptable for her mother to be acting like this, for your fiancee to let her walk all over you both, and most importantly that your fiancee is not ever going to speak about your sister like that again. Your sister is 9 years old. She is a young, impressionable child who has more than enough shit to deal with as it is, more than any child deserves to. Are you going to bring your fiancee into the family, around your sister, with her thinking she can treat your sister like some wild animal?”

He then continued: “Look, I’m never one to support the idea that a man ‘needs to check his woman.’ The phrase is disgusting. As a big brother though, and as a person, you need to give your fiancee a swift and definitive reality check. This is not her mother’s wedding, it’s your wedding too, and she does not demean your sister like that. Ever. NTA, but you will be if you just bend over to all of this heinous f**kery just because it’s easier than arguing with her. Three years down the line when MIL is running your lives and your wife is blaming you for it all you’ll be wishing you had fought back. Your relationship isn’t lost but you need to get back on the same page before you go any further.”

How would you react if you were in this groom’s situation?