Love is the most powerful force on earth that has the power to change the world, but should we let it change who we are as a person?
When we fall for someone and get involved in a relationship we should be aware there are sacrifices and compromises both partners should settle on. However, there are some things we should never change for the sake of the other person. One of them is our identity, as well as our individuality. It’s an undeniable fact that those slight changes in our character that take place without us even being aware of them may result in letting important pieces of our identity as an individual slip away.
Many times people who are emotionally attached to another person lose track of how much change is enough. We should never let our personality, our beliefs, our body, our personal growth, and the chance of making our own decisions suffer because someone else said so.
One girl knows this all to well. She gave up everything and bent over backwards for her boyfriend for too long. Now when she’s finally free from that toxic relationship she decided to write an open letter and speak up about all the changes she was forced to go through. Her words are wise and worth reading.
The open letter
“You always told me I didn’t look good with long hair and that you preferred girls with short hair. So I kept my hair cut above my shoulders at all times.
You laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous when I dyed my hair red when we were together. So a week later I dyed it back blonde.
You would always point out if I was wearing too much makeup. (Winged eyeliner and mascara most of the time).
So I just stopped wearing it.
You told me tattoos and piercings were tacky and ugly and would try to take out my belly button ring every time you saw it.
So I took out my piercings and didn’t get any more tattoos.
You pointed out my stretch marks every chance you got. So I did my best to keep them hidden.
You pointed out every single flaw I had. So I lost every bit of confidence I had.
I did everything I could to be what you wanted. I did everything you told me to do. It still wasn’t good enough. You left me for a younger prettier girl. Someone you could mold and shape into what you wanted. Like you tried to do with me. And up until a few months ago, I blamed myself for everything that happened. You blamed me too.
But finally, I started to see the truth. You weren’t out of my league. I was out of yours. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t good enough for you. You were the one who wasn’t good enough for me. You couldn’t accept me for who I was. When I took you the way you were.
So now here I am a few months later. My hair is past my shoulders. My hair is bright red. I’ve got a new tattoo. New piercings. Started wearing makeup again. I eat whatever I want whenever I want and weigh 135 pounds. I still have my stretch marks.
And I’ve finally gotten my confidence back. I finally see myself looking back at me when I look in the mirror.
It’s so hard for me to come out about this and admit that I became so vulnerable because of one guy. Something I always said would never happen. It’s humiliating to even think about how low I got. But what gives me the guts to come out about this is the fact that I overcame it and I’m finally back to who I really am. – Feeling free.”
Always remember that if someone truly loves you, they would never ask from you to change who you are. Find a partner who would love everything about you and will love both your inner and outside beauty. Never set for anything less.