When it comes to rude people, we’ve all been there, done that, and trust me, handling them can be a nightmare, especially if you don’t know how.
I’m sure that you’ve found yourself being irritated by someone rude at some point in your life and you had the shortest fuse and failed to respond the way you wanted; in a calm manner that won’t scream you were actually offended by their behavior. If that’s the case just know that you are not alone.
The thing is that we all encounter rude people every now and then, and they come in the form of a random stranger staring at us while we have our coffee at our favorite cafe, someone we work with and are forced to be around nearly every day, or even a family member.
Regardless of who it is, our ability to deal with our own reactions effectively is far more important than we might think. Because when you think about it, it is simple to lash out or give someone attitude, especially if you think you will never see them again, but if you take a moment to think about it, you will find that you end up feeling better about yourself and the situation.
Luckily, the days when you got easily set off by every difficult person you’ve encountered can be quite far away from you thanks to some useful tactics.
Sometimes, it does take time, a lot of trial and error, and more patience than you thought you had, but learning how to handle rude people is all worth it in the end.
Think Before You Speak
Back in the day, whenever someone was mean to me, my initial reaction was to shoot back that same second. If they yelled, I yelled back louder, it was as simple as that. At the time, it just felt like the right thing to do because of so many reasons that felt obvious. It was second nature to me to defend myself by doing what that other person did. But looking back at it, I realize it was the most unhealthy way for me to handle such situations. And yes, it only made things worse in every way.
What I’ve learnt ever since is that even a few seconds can flip the script of an exchange. When you take a moment to before you respond allows your brain to catch up with your emotions. More often than not, that moment is the difference between a blowout argument that leads you nowhere and a civil exchange that ends without any of you linger any anger.
So how do I manage this? It’s very simple, really. I just stop and take a deep breath, or even two, and give myself a moment to clear my head before I utter anything at all.
And when you think about it, you don’t even own anyone an immediate response, especially not to those who don’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Keep Calm
Rude people are practically everywhere, including at your workplace and they can make your work days a living hell, but only if you allow them.
One of the best ways to diffuse rudeness in the workplace is to keep your cool and show that you are able to control your reactions. What this means is that the less reactive you appear, the less influence rudeness will have over the situation. That deep breath you just took? You probably felt a little bit of relief. That’s the whole point. When your body is relaxed, your mind tends to follow. The trick is to maintain that calm vibe for the rest of the conversation. Speak in a steady voice, never let hurry to get your words out., and let the silence do the rest.
When you take the time to think before you speak, it’s a powerful way to show that you’re not easily upset. Most people don’t know how to react to someone who is calm and confident, especially when they were counting on you to blow your top.
Consider The Other Person’s Point Of View
We are all human beings, and we can all be rude and hard to handle at times. So the next time someone treats you poorly during an interaction and you already know that person is not bad, maybe it’s just situational and they are in a bad mood and that’s the only reason they are cranky to you. If that’s the case, it would be helpful to take a step back and consider things from their perspective before you start rolling your eyes.
It’s worth asking yourself if there’s any chance that they might actually be right, or if there’s something you’re missing in the moment. Sometimes what passes for rudeness is actually just frustration expressed in the wrong way. This doesn’t mean it’s not an issue, but it might help you react differently. On the other hand, if this is someone who always acts like this — snapping at people, being dismissive, always negative — then it’s probably not just a bad day. At this point, you’re probably looking at a bigger issue than that, rather than a bad day. And in this case, it’s worth recognizing that this is something that the two of you may need to address more seriously than you’re doing each time, rather than just blowing it off.
Consider What The Other Person Might Be Going Through
Sometimes, people are rude not because of you personally or the situation you two found yourself in, but because of something that’s eating them up. We all have our problems that we deal with on a daily basis and maybe the person who treats you badly is going through some tough times. Who knows, maybe they are dealing with a sick parent, love issues, or struggling to make ends meet.
So, it’s sometimes for the best to answer to rudeness with empathy.
Choose The Right Approach
Before you respond to someone rude, ask yourself if it’s worth it to turn the situation into a bigger issue than it already is. Because sometimes, if the person is someone not important to you, it’s not not.
Instead, the best course of action is to be as kind as you can and then just walk away from it entirely. If you do so, it won’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re choosing your own peace.
However, if the person is someone you know and will be seeing again, just walking away from it might not be the best approach. In those situations, having a calm and honest conversation can actually help to clear the air. And if that’s what you’re facing, let’s talk about what that might look like.
If You’re Going To Talk It Out, Do So Mindfully
If any of the rude people you try to handle are close to you, it would be wise to have an open and helpful conversation with them and tell them specific examples of what in their way they talked to you really offended you. Rather than speaking in general point out the things that caused problems and also mention what you’d like to see happen differently in the future, not as a way of attacking, but as a way of making your interactions easier and less stressful.
Essentially, the point is not to scold or shame, but to pave the way for better communication so that you can avoid this problem in the future.
Don’t Respond To Rudeness With Rudeness
Answering to rudeness with rudeness won’t take you anywhere. Trust me, I’ve done that in the past and I know for sure that it rarely helps the situation. On the contrary, it may just land you hot water.
If you can manage to keep your cool and not let yourself get too caught up in the heat of the moment, you’ll feel better about yourself and the entire situation in general. And if you think that staying calm would leave you with the impression that you are suppressing your emotions, you are wrong. Not only you are not doing that, but you are showing the kind of attitude that would make you feel even better about yourself later on.
When All Else Fails, Kill ‘Em With Kindness
I know it can feel a bit like you are faking when when you smile in the face of rudeness, but trust me, that’s much better than getting into a full-blown fight, don’t you think so? What’s most, your positive attitude may even improve the mood of the person who’s been rude to you, maybe not totally, but even a bit. And the best part? You are leaving the situation more in charge.
I’m aware that some people are just impossible, but still, why not give it a shot? And even if that doesn’t change them, it will definitely change you. And most times, it’s all it takes to make your day better.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, it’s kindness that makes this world go round, so why not choose you to be the one spreading it?
We should understand that living in a world where rudeness doesn’t exist is practically impossible, but we can definitely build a world where we respond to it with a bit of charm and elegance.
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Bored Daddy
Love and Peace
