As Paul and I shopped for Thanksgiving Eve, all I could think of was what my life with him would be like. We were together for a couple of years and thought about living together but he always avoided the conversation of staring a family and welcoming a child. It was as though he didn’t want to be a father, and being a mom was all I ever longed for.
However, I always convinced myself that he probably needed more time and eventually he would be ready for the next chapter.
As I was looking at the onsies and the baby shoes imagining I was shopping baby stuff, Paul interrupted me saying, “I’ll go grab some wine, you finish here and I’ll wait you at the car.” He then gave me a gentle kiss.
I remembered I needed to get some flowers for the centerpiece and turned to the flower section when a young woman carrying a child, around 4 years old, came to me and handed me the little girl. “Please take her for a second. I’ll be right back.”
But before I could even say anything, she vanished. I thought she was in a hurry and would return for the girl quickly but after 15 minutes of waiting, I started looking for her around the huge store. My heart started pounding when I realized the woman was nowhere to be seen.
Holding the girl as tight as I could, I took her to the security desk where an announcement was made through the intercom, but no one came forward.
I started panicking, but then I saw Paul approaching, carrying a bottle of wine.
He asked me about the girl, who said her name was Ella, and I explained everything. When she saw Paul, Ella got scared and whispered to me, “Mommy said I would be spending Thanksgiving Eve with a new mommy. Are you my new mommy.”
“Oh, my God,” I thought to myself. This child was being abandoned.
Paul said we needed to take Ella to the police station right away, and I agreed it was probably the best thing we could do.
But as we drove, Ella told us that she had never tried turkey or had dinner on Thanksgiving Eve. My heart crushed for this sweet girl. Who knew how hard her life has been.
I asked Paul to stop the car and begged him to take Ella home for the night and then take her to the police station first thing in the morning. But he turned to me and said, “You must have lost your mind.” He then started the car, leaving me and Ella at the gas station.
That Thanksgiving Eve was the most peaceful in my entire life.
Ella’s presence made everything different, more beautiful. She tried turkey for the first time and really like it. “I love your turkey new mommy,” she said, and I realized that my wish of someone calling me mom was even grater than I anticipated.
However, just as Ella was about to have a desert, a loud knock on the door of my tiny apartment disturbed the piece and quiet. It was Paul with the Child Protective Service. They took Ella away.
Paul said that we could finally have our dinner at peace, but his indifference was the final straw. Reality hit me that he would never want to be a father.
The night passed, and in the morning, I broke up with him and started a long and tiring procedure of adopting Ella.
It took a lot of time and finances, but she was finally mine. I was her mother and she was my girl. I knew I didn’t need a man in my life in order to have a child. My world became a better place.
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Bored Daddy
Love and Peace
