Every solid relationship is based on mutual trust, understanding, and open communication. That, however, doesn’t mean that we should utter every thought. Sometimes, the things we choose to share with our partner, no matter how honest, can lead to unnecessary tension, insecurity, and even misunderstanding.
This doesn’t mean we should keep secrets from the person we are in a relationship with, but some feelings are better processed privately before being shared.
Below are 15 things that a woman should avoid telling her man.
1. “My ex used to do that too”
Making comparisons between your ex and current partner may not be the best idea because it can be interpreted as though you are still not over the guy you once dated. At the same time, it can affect your partner’s self-confidence and lead to jealousy and resentment.
2. “You’re not ambitious enough”
Telling your partner they lack ambition or they are not as ambitious as you’d like them to be can sound as criticism rather than an attempt to push them. What feels to you like a lack of drive from his side may be him taking slow steps towards a goal.
3. “You’re exactly like your dad”
If your partner exhibits a habits you are not happy with, be sure to point that out without dragging family into the matter. Comparing him with his father may sound like judgement or even insult, depending on his relationship with his dad. By avoiding these sorts of comparisons, you can help put a stop to any generational trauma.
4. “I don’t need you”
Even if you are an independent woman who can do everything by herself, don’t say that in front of your partner. The truth is that men love to be needed, and telling them they are not will likely feel them useless. Making sure your partner is appreciated won’t make you weak, on the contrary, it will strengthen your relationship even further.
5. “That guy is so hot”
Commenting other guys’ appearance in front of your partner can affect their self-confidence. Imagine how you’d feel if he says another woman is gorgeous or hot in front of you.
6. “I make more money than you”
When in a relationship, success is a team win, not a competition.
Men often tie their self-worth to their ability to provide, so bringing up income—especially in a competitive way—can trigger feelings of inadequacy and even resentment.
7. “Don’t be so sensitive”
When men open up about their feelings, they expect to be understood, not judged. So, telling them things like “you are being so sensitive” can make them question their emotions.
8. “My friends don’t like you”
Telling your partner that your friends aren’t fond of him may sound like you are siding against him. Even if you want him to know how your close circle feels about him, do it in a way that won’t make him feel judged or paint your friends as his enemies.
9. “You’re not man enough”
Comments like “you’re not man enough” have a more damaging impact than you think. It pushes outdated stereotypes and makes him feel pressured to live up to unrealistic expectations.
10. “Why can’t you be more like [someone]?”
Again, comparing your partner with someone else and asking from them to be more like that other person can easily make them feel not worthy. Even if you want him to be more like someone else whose qualities you appreciate, don’t make it sound like his not good enough.
11. “You always do this”
If you tend to use this phrase during an argument, it may feel like you are also bringing up your partner’s past mistakes – probably the ones you’ve already settled. Make sure you stay in the moment without throwing in the past.
12. “You should have known better”
Saying “you should have known better” sound more like a judgement than a guidance. Telling this to your partner is as though you are telling them you are disappointed in what they have done without clarifying your thoughts on the matter. Be more open and explain what your expectations were without making them feel guilty.
13. “You’re lucky I’m with you”
If you tell your partner he’s the lucky one to have you, it means you feel of him as less worthy than you are. At the end of the day, you are with them because you choose to be, so don’t make them feel like they owe you for being in a relationship with them.
14. “Whatever”
When you are in a middle of an argument and you decide to put a stop to it by saying “whatever” it means you are brushing your partner’s feelings off and you are not concerned enough to find middle ground.
15. “Calm down”
Telling your partner to “calm down” in a middle of an argument is rarely productive, especially in the heat of the moment, because it will make them feel like their emotions don’t matter.
Don’t forget that good communication is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
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Bored Daddy
Love and Peace