Financial matters frequently become a point of contention between partners. Whether it’s about different spending habits, income disparities, budgeting, financial dependency, or other issues, it’s not uncommon for couples to face difficulties in managing these matters.
A woman took to the Reddit‘s thread ‘Am I The A*****e’ to share how her relationship dynamics has been affected after she inherited a generous sum of money from her grandma.
The woman, 32, explained that she and her boyfriend, 35, got engaged recently after five years of dating and set their wedding date for May 25.
Shortly after the engagement, the woman’s grandma died and left her a huge sum of money. Her grandma and grandpa had been very successful and had high paying jobs most their lives, and they wanted OP (original poster) to inherit everything they had saved throughout the years.
Naturally, OP shared the news with her soon-to-be husband.
“When I heard the news, I told my fiancé and he was incredibly overjoyed, much more than I expected him to be. I went along with it and shrugged it off until later in the day I heard him on the game with his mates saying ‘I can pay my credit card off with that money mate! We can finally get that boys holiday we’ve been planning, ay?’ and laughing,” she explained in her post.
“I walked into the room and asked ‘What money?’ and he immediately looked at me funny and said ‘From your nan, babe.’”
At an instant, she made sure he wasn’t spending any money without her permission and that she would definitely not be spending any of her inheritance on a boys’ holiday.
“‘It’s not your money to have, it’s written to me from MY nanna, it’s not for you,’” she went on to say.
OP then left the room, visibly upset. Once he finished his game, her fiancé started yelling at her. “We are getting married, you will become my financial BURDEN. Any money you take in is mine also. It was incredibly selfish of you to make such a fool out of me in front of my friends and giving them false hope of a holiday.”
OP wasn’t willing to argue any further and decided to go to her friend’s place without saying a word. She, however, wasn’t certain if she did the right thing and turned to the Reddit community for advice.
As expected, she received an outpouring of empathy from fellow netizens.
“Ok so he has shown you that he thinks of you as a burden and is planning on spending money that isn’t actually his on his ‘boys’. And he’s screaming at you because you won’t fall in with his plans. You’re nuts if you actually marry him,” one person wrote.
Another added: “You really want to marry this guy? There are 2 problems: 1. He assumed he’s entitled to the money. 2. He assumed he can spend it on a discretionary item that does not include you. Pt2. is the bigger problem.”
This user chimed in with: “Stop the wedding. Do not marry this guy. First, … wow he’s got credit card debt he’s never paid off? Living beyond his means is a HABIT. Second… what’s his is his, and what’s yours is his? Oh honey NO. Third… the rage? entitlement and DARVO … projecting you would be ‘the burden’ on him in the relationship? this man exhibits all the classic Narcissist tells.”
They continued: “Your grandparents last gift to you wasn’t just the money, but the wisdom of who this guy really is underneath. No character, abusive, entitled, parasitic. Run.”
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