After ten long years, my ex-husband returned. He appeared on my doorstep out of the blue, offering no explanation for why he left me and our then two-year-old daughter. In the note he left on the kitchen counter, he simply wrote that he couldn’t do it anymore.
When Josh and I first met, it felt like a love at first sight. We fell for each other almost effortlessly, and it didn’t take long before we tied the knot.
However, all of a sudden, his behavior started to change. He became overly obsessed with money and questioned every purchase I made, even when it came to the most essential groceries.
When I got pregnant, I was convinced things would change, but sadly, they turned even worse.
Josh said we were spending too much money on our baby daughter Chloe. “Why do we need this many diapers?” he’d ask.
When I told him we needed a new car seat for Chloe, he got angry and yelled at me. “Don’t you know how much money those things cost?”
Of course I knew, but those were things we needed. It was never like I was wasting our money. But no matter how much I tried to save, Josh was never satisfied.
I was aware he was struggling at work and didn’t make much money, but his obsession with the everyday expenses turned into a burden I could hardly carry.
One day, just before Chloe’s second birthday, Josh disappeared. He left a note saying he couldn’t do it any longer. No further explanation, nothing.
As my daughter grew older, her questions about her father became harder and harder to answer.
“Mom, do you think he regrets abandoning us?” she’d ask. Sadly, my answer was always, “I don’t know honey.”
Then, one day, out of the blue, my ex-husband returned. He was at my doorstep, looking pale and visibly aged.
“What are you doing here, Josh? Why after ten years?”
He fell on his knees. “Lauren, I’m sorry. I made a mistake, and I regret it every second of every day.”
Somehow, I wasn’t buying his words, but I still welcomed him in for Chloe’s sake. I knew she was curious about him and I wanted her to make a decision whether he would be part of her life or not.
As we talked, Chloe entered the room. “Mom, is that… is that dad?”
She recognized him from the photos I had been showing her throughout the years.
Chloe had a thousand of questions, but Josh didn’t have the answers. All he could say was that he was scared and that he regretted abandoning us.
Somehow, I knew there was more about Josh’s return.
He looked frail, and his coughing wouldn’t stop, but he always claimed nothing was wrong.
One day, as he and Chloe played some game, he suddenly collapsed on the floor.
I called the emergency services and he was taken to the hospital. Doctors said his condition was very bad. Josh had cancer – stage four.
With tears in his eyes, he explained that he hid the diagnosis from us because he didn’t want us to think he returned because he didn’t want to die alone.
I barely found the strength to tell my daughter that just as she found her dad, she would lose him.
Josh spent his days writing letters for Chloe. “Dad, what are you writing,” she’d ask him. “I’m writing letters for you,” he smiled. “For all the big moments in your life. Your graduation, your wedding, or just a day when you need a reminder of how much I love you.”
Sadly, Josh passed away a few months later, leaving a void in Chloe’s heart and life.
When my ex-husband returned after that many years, I never assumed our lives would be impacted forever.
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Bored Daddy
Love and Peace
