When little children ask how babies are born, adults are always left startled. The truth is that it’s not that easy for this complex process to be explained to a young child and that is why grown ups tend to use simple words or even joke how the newborns are brought by the stork.
For one young girl named Erica, this process is not something unknown. On the contrary, she described it so profoundly during lesson time that her teacher couldn’t help but burst into laughter.
The teacher starts her story, which happened few years back, by explaining that they had a story telling class when Erica came to the board with a pillow stuffed under her shirt. As she started talking, she said: “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.”
As the rest of the kids watched with amazement, Erica continued: “First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then Daddy put a seed in my mother’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for 9 months through an umbrella cord.”
At this point, the teacher who shared this story was sad she didn’t have her camera rolling so she could take a video of the detailed yet innocent explanation.
“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, ‘Oh, oh, oh!” Erica said as she put a hand behind her back and groaned. “She walked around the house for, like an hour, “Oh, oh, oh!” At this point, bright Erica started doing a hysterical duck-walk, holding her back and groaning. “My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my mother to lay down in bed like this.
“And then, pop! My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!”
She had her legs spread and mimicked water flowing. “Then the middle wife starts going push, push, and breathe, breathe. They start counting, but they never even got past 10. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there.”
Following her thorough explanation on how babies are born, Erica took a bow and returned to her seat.
The teacher was so impressed that she gave her the loudest applause.
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Bored Daddy