When I was little, I had an uncle who used to tell all sorts of cool stories for us children. As we grew older, he also began to occasionally share one or another innocent enough ‘dirty joke’. Needless to say, we enjoyed these very much 🙂

I thought of my uncle when I came across this one – it’s one he never told and I’d never heard before. It begins when a dad is asked to explain women’s breasts to his son – more specifically, to explain the different ‘types’ of breasts that exist.

Dad decides to take a little twist on his response – much to daughter and mom’s disapproval. But mom is quick to retort with an equally wittier response on the males’ ‘counterpart’ body part. Read below for a healthy laugh!


A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”

“Onions?” said the boy “Yes, see them and they make you cry,” the father replied.

This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of willies are there?”

The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” asked the daughter, confused.

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.”

Share if you enjoyed this joke too 🙂

What do you think ?