The quality of family relationships depends on many things, among which trust and loyalty.
A young woman shared her live story and wondered if she was in the wrong for her decision to exclude her father and her step-mother from her wedding.
Staring her post, Sarah explained that her parents divorced when she was young and she chose to stay with her father James and his new wife, Karen. The reason why was that her mother, Matilda, was somewhat distant.
Sarah remembered that when her parents split, and even before that, her mom acted strangely. Her dad provided stability for her, something she barely experienced with her mom.
When a special occasion or a holiday came, Sarah would invite her mom to spend the day with her and her father, but she always refused. Her mom tried to avoid her father as though he was the worst person on Earth, something Sarah had a hard time understanding since her dad was a caring man.
When Sarah was to be married, one thing she was looking forward to was the fact that her parents would both be there for her.
Her dad paid for the lavish wedding because he wanted everything to be perfect for Sarah’s special day.
The night before the big day, Sarah was at her fiance’s place and was overly excited for the wedding. She called her father just to be sure he would be picking up the following morning so that they could rehearse the father-daughter dance. “Sure, honey,” he said, and just as Sarah was about to hang up, she realized her dad was still on the phone without being aware of it.
She didn’t have an intention to listen to him and wanted to hang up, but she heard something that shocked her.
“I WISH I HAD NEVER HAD HER IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I would have met you sooner,” he told Karen, speaking of his ex-wife.
Sarah always knew that her father and her step-mother met a year after her parents divorced, but the conversation she heard said otherwise.
“I recall being unable to take my eyes off of you when I saw you in the juice aisle,” he said.
James then expressed to Karen how he desired her immensely from that moment on. To Sarah’s shock, he added, “From then onward, I didn’t care about Matilda all pregnant at home.”
“She was a big girl and could handle it!” he laughed.
“She’s still a BIG girl!” Karen retorted, while the two started laughing at Sarah’s mother’s expense.
“You remember when we kissed for the first time a few days after my little Sarah was born?” James asked his wife lovingly.
“I remember, my love, and the first time we consummated our union was on your fourth wedding anniversary with Matilda.” James then even mentioned how they did it while Sarah, months old at the time, was asleep in her crib with her mom out running an errand.
“Remember how hard it was for us to keep seeing each other after Matilda caught us when Sarah was six?” Karen added as they continued laughing. This piece of information floored Sarah because her parents divorced when she was 11!
Her father was cheating on her mother from the beginning.
Sarah started crying. She couldn’t stop thinking of the pain her mother had gone through. On top of that, Sarah’s choice to live with her cheating father and his mistress must have added to the heartbreak her mom experienced.
In the morning, she went to her father’s place and started packing all of her belongings. Her dad was confused.
“What’s going on? Why are you packing, and why are you here? I thought I was coming to you today?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Sarah told him she knew the truth about him and his wife.
“I overheard your conversation with Karen last night,” Sarah finally managed to say. “I know about you and stepmom…about what you did to mom.”
He was quick to start explaining, but she stopped him middle sentence. Sarah refused to listen to more lies. And no matter how hard it was for her to make such a decision, she told her dad he wasn’t welcome to her wedding any longer.
“But I paid for everything! How can you do this to me on the morning of your wedding?” he protested, his voice rising in desperation.
“That’s just it, dad. It’s my wedding, and I can’t start my new life with lies at the foundation,” Sarah replied, holding back tears. “I’ve transferred the money back to your account. I don’t want anything from you.”
Sarah took her suitcase and headed straight to her mother’s place. “What happened, honey? Why are you here and not getting ready for your wedding?” she asked Sarah.
But at that moment, Sarah needed time in order to be able to utter anything. When she gathered the strength she told her mom that she learned the truth, apologized, and told her that she didn’t want her father at the wedding.
“I’m so proud of you for standing up for what’s right,” her mom said.
“The wedding ceremony was bittersweet. As my mom walked me down the aisle, I felt a mix of sorrow for the family I lost and joy for the new beginning ahead. The absence of my dad and his side of the family cast a shadow, but the love and support from those present filled the room with light,”Sarah wrote in her post.
Then, midway through the reception something intriguing happened. Sarah’s half-brother arrived. He approached her as though he was asking for forgiveness. “I know I wasn’t supposed to come, but I had to tell you… I’m sorry for everything dad and my mom did. You deserve better,” he told his sister.
His words caught Sarah by surprise and reminded her of the complexity of family ties.
At the end of the day, she was glad her wedding turned out as she has always imagined, but she still felt the void of her father’s absence and it was a roller-coaster of emotions for her.
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