As soon as my brother Ryan dropped his bombshell of another baby at the Sunday dinner, my parents went nuts and acted as if he had won the lottery. My father was slapping him on the back, and my mother was crying about her “another blessing.” Meanwhile, Ryan’s wife, Madison, was sitting there as if she was queen of England, totally ignoring her other four children that were screaming and destroying things in the room next door.
My mother turned to me and just said, “You’ll handle the kids.” It wasn’t even a question but an order.
I put down my fork and said, “Absolutely not.”
They started looking at each other as though I did the greatest sin. Ryan got mad and started yelling, “Do not start,” but I told him that I was done with it. For eight years, I have been doing everything from babysitting to picking their kids up from school and tutoring them for free, while working my ass off in my full-time job at thirty-one years old. Madison then turned to me and said, “Well, you don’t have a family on your own, this should come as a training to you.” Neither one of my parents said anything in my defense, so I just stood up and left.
The following morning at about 7:40 am, my phone rang. It was Officer Daniels from the local police office. My heart sank instantly. He informed me that Ryan and Madison had left a note on the counter naming me as the one in charge of the children, and then they left. Their neighbor had contacted the police when he found their youngest child alone in the driveway.
I told the cop straight up that I wasn’t there, I hadn’t agreed to anything, and I hadn’t talked to them since the previous night when we got into an argument over family dinner.
The note Madison wrote, read, “Olivia has the kids until noon,” and she did what she did because she wanted to force me to agree to something I wasn’t willing agreeing on.
This wasn’t the first time Ryan and Madison to dumb their kids on a whim. So when I went to the police station, I made sure I had plenty of voice mail calls and messages showing just how many times before they’d done this, leaving the kids to me without even asking.
The policeman went through all the screenshots and when he got to the text Madison sent me the night before, “You will learn one way or another; don’t think you can get away with this,” he just looked at me and said, “Yeah, this is definitely not a misunderstanding.”
Ryan and Madison,along with my parents, arrived at the station by lunchtime. As soon as Madison saw me, she lashed out at me for calling the police on them. The policeman silenced her and explained that it was a call from a neighbor. Ryan attempted to justify himself by saying that it was expected since I always end up doing something helpful and he believed that I would eventually show up.
The policeman showed the note and questioned who wrote it. Madison averted her eyes in embarrassment and confessed to doing it, adding that I never said no. But I didn’t say yes, either.
CPS ended up opening an investigation and gave them a major reality check. A few weeks later, Madison sent me this huge text message apologizing for her behavior due to pregnancy stress and Ryan texted that they needed to “move forward.” My response to them was that I am moving forward without being their free daycare. For a month, I blocked them from contacting me. I told my parents the same thing: no more showing up for family gatherings if I am not respected.
Their new baby was born some six months later, all that I did was send a blanket and a card to them. There were no more babysitting services, and there were no emergency calls either. A couple of weeks ago, Ryan called me well after midnight on a Saturday night. His number showed up on my phone and I just let it go.
The following day, my mom called in an attempt to guilt me into going over there and babysitting again, stating how tired and overwhelmed Madison was and how she wished they had an extra pair of hands. My mother would try and get me using one of her most annoying tactics. “She’s your sister-in-law, Olivia, she’s family.” I responded with something along the lines of “Family goes both ways, and if you care about me at all, you wouldn’t have set me up to potentially face charges of child abandonment a few months ago.”
It took me some time to understand that putting your foot down does not make you a bad guy. All of those years they have been trying to take advantage of my freedom because I am single and childless. Having to involve the police on this matter was terrible, but in all honesty, it was the only way to get through to them and make them understand that I am a person and not a backup babysitter. They continue to grumble about the cost of hiring a babysitter, which is totally their issue.
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Bored Daddy
Love and Peace